Baggy eyes, wet hair, sprinting to my car, and a meal replacement shake in my hand has begun to describe my life 90% of the time. I couldn't tell you the last month I even had time to take a 20 minute power nap between volunteering over 60 hours a week and working over 20. I calculate every day how I am going to get my minimum of two hours of sleep a night I need to function and every Sunday night I spend two hours meal prepping because I don't have a split second during any other day to eat food consisting of anything more than a 2 minute prep time. Whenever one thing of mine ends I always begin something new. I always live by the mind set that I could die tomorrow so I try my hardest every day to take advantage of literally every second in the day. I am constantly adding to my to do list and everything goes into my calendar, even my shower times.
To be honest with you, I love having a jam packed schedule. I am exhausted and stressed all the time, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have lost a lot of friends along the way because I never have time for dinners or hang out sessions. I try my hardest to stay in touch with my friends, but they don't really care to do the same most of the time. If I can make time in my jam packed schedule to call you for two minutes out of my day to see how you are doing, I'm pretty sure you can manage it with your summer consisting of wine coolers and lounging in a beach chair.
Please don't be annoyed when you ask me to do something and I immediately tell you I have to check my calendar. If I didn't keep track of every little thing I'm doing I would forget to do things half the time. If I put you down in my calendar that means I am making a promise to hangout with you. My commitments are important to me. I know many of you are tired of asking me to do something and getting the "I'm busy then" response but that doesn't mean to never invite me places. It's hard being the person that is always busy because I feel like I miss out on everything my friends do. By doing that I just feel like no one ever wants me anywhere. It's not difficult to keep in touch with one another so when you can't take the two seconds out of your day to call me or text me back I will stop making any effort to communicate with you.
Most of the time I don't have downtime for myself yet alone anyone else. I wish I had the luxury of being able to actually have a summer break. Every summer my friends ask me why I am staying at school again, and every summer I have a new opportunity keeping me there. I never really had a time where I was care-free. With everything I have experienced in life thus far I have realized the importance to crack down to the important stuff and take in as much knowledge as I can. The internship/volunteer work I'm doing, and the job I have, are playing a huge role in my future.
Most of my endeavors have come at the price of sacrificing most of my social life. Sometimes it really sucks living this life. Watching everyones' snap chats having a blast at the bar or the beach while I'm working 12 hours. It sucks watching my friends plan things and knowing I won't be apart of it. That perfect Insta picture of all the people I used to call my friends having a blast without me. It's hard feeling like the person that is always left out. Needing to choose responsible things over fun things really sucks sometimes. Sometimes I sit here and think "What if my family was rich, I wouldn't have to do this. Or why am I even doing this anyways." But then I always come to the conclusion that I wouldn't want an easy life. Where is drinking every night or laying on a beach all day going to get me in life?
The people I have meant through my opportunities with different jobs, internships, and volunteer work answer the question as to why I do what I do. Yes it's great to put on a resume, but the bonds I have built with the people at these different places I will cherish for a lifetime. Seeing results in my GPA or making someone smile at my internship really reminds me why I do it. I love learning about things I am passionate about and I love helping others. I love being able to say "No my parents didn't buy that for me it took me years to save for that." I am working towards the person I want to be in my future.
Being "the busy friend" is okay when you have the friends that understand everything but still stick by your side no matter the circumstances. The moment I do get to hangout with my friends or do something out of the usual is what makes it that much more rewarding.
