Okay, so let’s just get one thing clear: I absolutely love my mom. My mom is my best friend in the entire world and I don’t know how I would be able to make it through life without her. That’s just how it’s always been. Heck, when I was in third grade, I wrote a poem about how in love with my mom I was and submitted it to some elementary school poetry competition. In high school, I came home every day and told her about what went on, down to the smallest detail. Someone was wearing a dress that I didn’t like? My mom knew. I probably even sent her a picture before I got home that day. Someone looked at me the wrong way? She knew. My mom is my “go-to” girl. If my mom doesn’t know about you, then you probably aren’t significant in my life (sorry not sorry). I have been in college for almost two years and I still call my mom every day—most days, its two or three times. If I’m walking between classes, I will give my mom a call. If I have some medical question, I will call my mom. If I’m bored or in need of advice, I will call my mom. I’m surprised that she hasn’t just started completely ignoring my phone calls.

Two weeks ago, my mom went with my little sister on a mission trip to Nicaragua. It was something that I had experienced four years prior with my older sister and I was so extremely excited that she was going to have this adventure of a lifetime. Here’s the thing about mission trips—they change the person going more than they change the community around them. My mom already has the biggest heart I know, so I was just waiting to see the changes the Lord would make on her heart and, selfishly, I knew the Lord would implement those on me through the means of my mother. I was so excited for her until she called me from the airport on the day she was leaving. It hit me. For the next week, I would not be able to talk to my mom. So I hung up the phone with her, tears in my eyes, and immediately called my dad. I’m sure neither of us will ever forget this conversation.

Dad: “Hey sweetie, what’s up?”
Me: *in tears* “Hey dad, I’m going to need you to be mom for the week.”

And that’s exactly what he did. I called my dad every day. Yeah, it was different, but it was a third party person to talk to and I was thankful until one night, I called and he was out to dinner with a customer and he told me he would call me back later. He didn’t. I’m not mad or upset, but I think that was one of the first days of my entire college career that I didn’t talk to one of my parents. You can call me a big baby, but that’s just my family dynamic. We love each other, have group messages, constantly communicate, and, for one week, this was gone. In this one week, I learned so much.

I learned that I don’t need my mom as much as I thought. I’m not saying that I don’t need her in my life because I obviously do, but I learned that I don’t need to call her ten times a day. I’m in college now and it’s time for me to use the advice and lessons she has given me. I call my mom knowing what advice she is going to give, but I just like hearing it. I don’t need that any more. I learned to trust my own decision-making and to not rely on her justification.

I learned that my dad gives a lot of good advice and that I should call him more often. A typical phone conversation with my dad is either about school, money or some car problem that I’m having. During this week, however, I called him for more than that. I talked to him about friends and relationships. I talked to him about my insecurities and my plans for the day. I found out that my dad has a lot more insight, and (honestly) sometimes better advice than my mom. So now I call my dad to talk. Not about anything in particular, but I call him to see how his day is. And let me tell you, it makes him a lot happier to know that I care about him more than just the money he gives me.

I learned that I don’t need to talk to someone about every little thing. Like I said before, I told my mom everything. I still tell her a lot, but I promise you that I should internalize more things than I do. I have a right to my own thoughts and opinions. I can form my own judgments. I can be offended and not have to rant about it.

I learned that I will always make an active effort to communicate with my mom, even on the busy days. She missed talking to me just as much as I missed talking to her. So I don’t only call for selfish reasons anymore. I call because she wants me to be a part of her day just as I want her to be a part of mine.

I learned that meaningful conversation is way better than senseless banter. I call her too much and I talk about meaningless things. I now make it a goal to have meaningful conversation with her and to hear about her day instead of consistently talking at her. My mom is a friend and it shouldn’t be a one-way relationship. So now, I listen to what she has to say as well. We don’t talk about the meaning of life every time we get on the phone, but it’s more than senseless chatter when I need something to fill the time between classes. Our conversations mean something.

I learned that I am not my mom. I am my own person with my own mind and my own skills. She is the reason I am the person I am today, and being apart from her for a week allowed me to embrace that.

I will still call my mom every day, but now, if I don’t, it’s not the end of the world. I can do this on my own.