I remember the feeling of rejection clearly. It made me feel less valued. Before college, there were kids who snubbed me and acted like they were better.
It didn’t just happen to me though. It happened to others also. My sister has been completely ignored in plain sight by people she knows. One of my closest friends has experienced the cold-shoulder from an old friend for no reason at all.
I know that as a reaction to rejection, I’ve acted the same way. I just wanted to protect myself and ignore before being ignored.
Of course, this isn’t how it should be handled and I understand that now. Looking back, it hurts to see that there are so many people who have been tuned out. When others act like you don’t exist or that you don’t matter, you start to believe it yourself after a while. It cuts deeper than the naked eye can see.
Being completely invisible can slowly disconnect a person from the advantages that go with quality friendships. When I was younger, I remember feeling isolated, and because of that, I didn’t ask for help when I started to slip into depression. Things spiraled until my mom found a series of texts between me and my long-distance best friend. She sat down with me and we talked it out.
Having a parent who cares enough to listen when I talk about my struggles was a privilege. Not everyone has the same opportunity to share their inner-most thoughts with someone else.
When we reject each other, we are sending a negative message. We’re telling other people they aren’t important and their input isn’t valuable. It hurts and it may throw someone into seclusion.
We have to be careful with what we say and what we do. It’s absolutely unacceptable to act like another human being doesn’t deserve interaction. Not only that, it’s narcissistic and obnoxious to have that kind of attitude.
As the years have passed, I don’t have the same response to rejection. I’m used to it. I know I have friends who value me as a person and vice versa. However, it isn’t okay.
Depriving another person just because they don’t fit some kind of social description isn’t okay. You never know who you’re talking to or what they’re going through. What if they needed someone to ask how they were?
I’m learning the art of human connection, and with that comes inclusion. We can change our social situation by offering attention and care to those around us. Let’s uplift one another instead of pulling each other down.
