In the year 2012, a movie was released entitled, “Liberal Arts” in which a 35-year-old man returns to visit his alma mater and ends up falling for a girl sixteen years his junior. Jesse, the older man, tries to fight his feelings for Zibby (the college sophomore), but ultimately ends up giving into her request to see him more often. Warning, I will spoil the ending in this article, which means if you haven’t watched this film and don’t want to know how it ends, maybe don’t read the rest, but that’s just a suggestion.
Jesse is confused at first on his feelings for Zibby. She is vibrant, fun and acts deceivingly mature for barely having entered her twenties. This pushes Jesse to do things like comparing how old Zibby was when he was a certain age or physically washing his face with cold water when Zibby asks to sleep with him. Jesse is confused, similar to anyone going through life. That’s where one of three big picture lessons I’ve learned from this movie comes in: we are all confused. It’s okay to process how we feel and to even make mistakes, like how Jesse drove down to see Zibby knowing he could never really be with her. The process of figuring out how you feel and using your morality to make decisions is something you learn after years of practice. Example, Zibby impulsively tried to sleep with Jesse and he was mature enough to explain to her why that would not be a good idea, all due to the fact that he had a jumpstart on his years of developing his own ethical ideas and sticking to his beliefs, no matter the urges he felt.
The second lesson comes in the form of our leading lady. Zibby is a character I relate to. I think it’s the idea that she goes after what she thinks she wants that reminds me of myself. I only add thinks since she’s young and sometimes you get so blindsided by the idea of things like love that your vision becomes hazy and all you can focus on is that one person, day in and day out. Zibby was passionate about Jesse from the get go and she used her strong emotions to wrap him into her world. Zibby wasn’t afraid to get what she wanted and that’s something I think is similar to my own life and many young peoples’. What we learn from Zibby is that it’s okay to make what you want known to the world. Tell that person how you feel, share what you know and love what (or who) you love.
The third lesson this movie taught me was the idea that you don’t always get what you want. Cue The Rolling Stones song. The biggest plotline in this movie that showed this was (spoiler alert) Jesse ends up with another girl besides our beloved sophomore in college and that was probably for the best. I believe that we all have a fate and that we’re just following our path that we were born with. In the time that you think you know what you want and it’s not happening, your heart feels broken. You cry. You might scream. You might mimic the two-year-old throwing a tantrum because their doll broke. I have had times recently where all I want to do is sit on my bed and cry, just like Zibby did in her dorm room. I feel like my world was flipping around inside my stomach and I’m getting dizzier by the minute. I wanted what I wanted and I didn’t get it. I have never felt closer to a character in a plotline than when Zibby was heartbroken over something that, deep down, she knew she couldn’t have and there was a good reason for that, but in that moment, that’s all she wanted. I do understand, now, that what I wanted is not what I needed. My situation ended for the right reasons and the pain will soften because that’s just part of growing up and Zibby taught me exactly that.
If you have yet to search this title on Netflix, please do. Especially if you find yourself feeling stuck in a situation that feels unfair or you are trying to sort out a feeling you have about a certain person and it’s complicated. If you’re growing up, it can be hard. This movie just made my growing up a little clearer and gave me insights into how to get through what you think are road bumps on your path through life.
