I have always had a problem listening to God. I always expect a booming voice to come out of the sky and hit me in the eardrums like, "Hey, Sierra! I'm trying to tell you something! Get your head out of the clouds and listen!" But it's never, ever like that. Every single time I've heard God speak to me, it's through some sort of third party system. Sometimes my preacher at church will say something that directly correlates with what I'm struggling with, or maybe a friend will say something that God really needs me to hear at the time, and sometimes it comes in the form of songs that I hear. I like to think God never gets bored with the way He communicates. Especially when it comes to those of us who aren't very good at listening (me).
The other day at work I was sitting at my desk and typing something up when all of a sudden a song I haven't heard in years started playing through the radio. "What Do I Know of Holy" used to be my favorite worship song when I was a freshman in high school. One of my classmates had performed it for one of our concerts and I hadn't heard it again for years. I immediately stopped what I was doing and just listened. After the song was over, I started looking up the lyrics and writing down what they meant to me.
This song was incredibly relatable to me. The way that I interpreted it is that knowing of God, and knowing about all of the things that He's done isn't enough in a relationship with Him. I immediately realized that even though I had been better about going to church every Sunday and taking the time to read through scripture, I still wasn't actively seeking God in my everyday life. I realized that I'm guilty of reducing God to simply being the Creator of the Universe. I'm guilty of seeing Him as this far-off figure that is more like an observer of my life instead of making Him the center of it.
While I know that I'm guilty of these things, I do know that God is absolutely forgiving. I know that God holds love above everything else and that I can continue pursuing a lifelong relationship with Him, even if I stumble sometimes. I think the best thing I can do when I struggle with this is to find the beauty of God in every day things. I've prayed about finding ways God is positively impacting my life through my friends and family, the acts of service that others do in the name of God, and even through the bad times that come around now and again. I've decided to find ways to actively worship God even when I'm at home. I hope to find ways to rejoice in His grace every day and to continue making my relationship with Him stronger. If I don't actively seek out what Holy is, how will I ever truly know God?
I'm thankful that I heard this song again, and I'm thankful for the reminder that it gave me this week. It will definitely be something I continue to hold on to.
If you haven't heard this song and want to give it a listen, check out this video!
