This may sound a little negative or be a little heavy in the complaining area but this is just what I wish I would have known a year ago. At that time I was an over-confident, recent high school graduate. I thought I was on top of the world and that no one could touch me. I soon came to find out that almost everyone hurts you in some way or another over the course of your first year in college. However, you also find out a lot about yourself and make some of the most special bonds you ever will.
I was always the one with a plan. I knew what I was going to college for, I knew where I wanted to be in five years or even ten years and I knew what I wanted out of life. The last year has been one big learning process for me. I've had to adapt and change more than I ever thought I would. The biggest change I've had to go through is being okay with not being okay. I thought I always had to be this energetic, positive person but I quickly came to realize that I didn't need to be "on" all the time. I had to accept that not having a plan for EVERYTHING was perfectly fine. Once I finally let that go, I felt more free that I ever had before.
When it comes to a social life or friends I seemed to either be trying too hard or not enough. It is hard to find a balance, especially when you're dealing with people you've never really experienced before. I had this ultimate expectation of an exciting school year and the summer following that. Just in the last few weeks I've had to realize that I can't really count on anyone. There is only a handful of people that I can think of that I can count on and half of them are my family. It honestly sucks losing people you never thought you would lose. It is one of the most heart-breaking times but I know that even if I haven't found them yet I will find real, supportive friends.
This leads me into another big lesson I've learned this pass year. Expect the unexpected. One day there is going to a person you thought you could depend on, not be there for you. There will be a test that you thought you aced and actually failed or vice-versa. Leave your expectations low (not in all circumstances) and people will surprise you more often than not.
I still have a lot to learn over the next three or four years but I know that one day, maybe soon, I will be okay. Just recently I heard a phrase that I've heard a million times but this was the first time I took it seriously... "The best years are ahead of you."
I have a great future career and possibly a family to look forward to. That's what keeps me going everyday. I'm overcoming some of the greatest struggles and hardships that will ever happen to me. It's going to be weird to look back in ten years and realize that the hardest times are behind me. I can't wait to get to that place.
