It’s honestly even a little unbelievable to me.
This coming Tuesday marks my 5 year anniversary with my boyfriend Kevin. I could bore you with all the mushy lovey sentiments that come with being in a long term relationship at such a young age but rather than gross out my readers I think it would be more interesting for me to tell you all the things I’ve learned about being in a serious long term relationship.
1)Being in a long term relationship doesn’t mean you have to lose everyone else:
I love spending time with my friends, and my boyfriend gets that. There’s times he wants to be with just his friends too and that’s cool with me. Being in a long term relationship means we don’t have to spend every waking second together. I’ve seen too many new relationships form around me with other couples who feel the need to spend time with only their boyfriend. In a good relationship, you can have friends and significant others. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
2)Fighting over stupid stuff is important:
I’m not going to lie; one of my biggest pet peeves is when my boyfriend refuses to replace the toilet paper on the holder. We’ve probably fought over his need to just sit the new roll on top of empty roll at least 100 times. Literally. But every time we fight about it we just end up laughing at how funny we must sound to keep having the same conversation over . I’ve learned to accept this little annoyance and almost find it cute (almost) that after three and a half years of living with each other he has never once replaced the empty toilet paper tube. Even now I’m laughing over the fact that I’m writing about toilet paper bringing us closer.
3)People will always let you know what they think about your relationship
I love when I post a picture of us on social media and get a lot of likes and comments telling us how cute we are. But for every nice comment, there are some not so nice comments. I’ve had friends tell me we should break up if we ever fight, or say if we don’t want the same things in life we should just break up now (He wants kids and I’m good with just our cats). People will always have their own opinions about any kind of relationship, and that’s great, but I’ve learned that only I know if I’m happy and what I’m feeling for another person.
4)Long term relationship means everyone asks you about marriage
A week after we first moved in together, a relative mentioned to us that we should go down to the court house and get married. I was shocked. I couldn’t think of anything to say in response. Living together does not mean you have to get married. But the longer we date, the more frequent comments like that come up. I’ve have family, friends, coworkers and even random strangers who see us holding hands at the movies ask me when we’re getting married. While those type of questions used to bother me, now I just laugh and shrug at the idea. I’m sure it’ll happen someday (but why rush into being liable for each other’s mounting student debt). I’m always so happy when a friends or family of ours get engaged because I love weddings, but just because some people are ready to get married before others is no big deal. I’ve been asked by several people if I’ve gotten mad that such-and-such couple got engaged before me and my boyfriend, and my answer is always “OhMyGodNO!” Good for them, more power to them. It’s not something that is a race to the finish line and getting there first isn’t a contest.
5)You don’t need a big fancy date night
When we first started dating we would plan out these elaborate date nights, dinner, flowers the works. While that’s still a nice treat once in a while, I love spending out free nights off together watching Netflix in out pajamas eating takeout even more. I don’t expect (or want) to be given expensive gifts to show he loved me. Being in a long term relationship means he finds little way to show me that every day (like when he makes me dinner after I worked all day, or when he gets me my favorite snack when we stop for gas at Stewart's) there’s so many little moments that just make me go “Aww!”
6)You learn to appreciate time apart.
Someone once said “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” and I totally agree with that sentiment. I love going to work or school all day and being able to come home and tell my boyfriend all about my day. We don’t have to spend every second of every day holding hands, because then what would we have to talk about? There’s been a number of times when I go back home to visit family and friends and can’t take him with me if he can’t get time off work. I love that when I come back even after just a weekend away I miss him. And it’s a nice feeling to be missed by someone else.
7)No matter what, he loves me
No matter how many times I hog the TV or bug him to get me a drink of water in the middle of the night, he’s there for me. When I’m sick, he brings me tissues and ginger ale. When I’ve had a bad day, he sits with me and listens. When I'm pulling an all nighter, he makes me coffee and proofreads my papers. In this crazy world where everyone is always breaking up, divorcing, and cheating on one another, it’s an amazing feeling to find someone who makes me feel this way, and brings out the best of me. So don’t ever settle for anyone who makes you feel anything less.
