Every group of friends has one; the one friend who no matter how hard they try are single. Have they even had a boyfriend before? Have they ever kissed a girl? You don't know. Throughout the entirety of your friendship, you've never seen or even heard about them going on a date let alone having a significant other. It's not that they're undesirable, they're just single. It's their "thing".
In my friend group, I'm the single friend. I've been single and proud for around three years and while it's easy for me now, at first it was really hard for me to be the only single friend especially when I came to college, however, I recently realized that I wouldn't be who I am if I wasn't the single friend. I've learned not only about life but also myself in ways I couldn't have if I was taken.
Through being single, I learned how to be independent by which I mean I learned how to be alone. After I broke up with my sweetheart the summer of my sophomore year of high school, I hated being alone. I hated being single, and I hated the world in general. I yearned for the connection that my 15-year-old head and heart thought they needed to function. However, as time passed I got used to going to date events with a platonic friend and got used to sometimes being the third or fifth wheel. I stopped wanting a boyfriend and I poured my soul into everything I did whether it was school, the debate team, sports, or work. Instead of having a passion for love, I had a passion for life.
Another thing I learned in my time of romantic solitude is how to help others. I've always noticed that whenever my friends are having relationship problems, they always came running to me. For the longest time I thought it was because they wanted to learn from my mistakes; that could not have been further from the truth. My friends come to me for advice because since I'm single I'm seen as a mediator, an unbiased, judgement free person who they can always come to when they need help. It wasn't because they didn't want to end up like me, they wanted to know my perspective because they respected my opinions. My lacking of a boyfriend caused me to gain more compassion for others because as I learned more about the inner workings of their relationships, the more understanding I became.
The last lesson I learned through being single is that being the single friend doesn't make you less important than any of your other friends. Shortly after I got out of my last relationship, I didn't want to hang out with my friends who were dating. I thought that they would think less of me now that we weren't all in happy relationships. I could not have been more wrong. The only thing being single changed in my life what my relationship status on Facebook. Other than that everything was the same, the sky was still blue, the sun was still shining and my friends still dared to hang out with me despite not having a boyfriend.
Admittedly, being single hard sometimes because I have to put myself out there a lot more than most people would. Despite that, I know that I wouldn't be nearly as confident as I am if I hadn't been single for as long as I have and for that, I'm grateful.
Happy Valentine's and Singles Awareness Day, readers!
