The past few weeks have been quite rough for me. My emotions have been put through the ringer. Because of this, I have come to some realizations. A female college student has a lot of shit she must deal with. Sometimes, it will become too much for her and she will just break down. In my case, what I’ve dealt with lately are things that I have never had to deal with in the past, so coping and moving on from them is not nearly as easy for me as it may be for others. I hate and do my best to avoid crying and sulking over anything, nonetheless these horrible gooey emotional-type things. I am in the process of becoming at peace with where my life is currently at, and in doing so I have come to realize a few things that I thought I would compose into an article. Perhaps there are other girls that will read this that are dealing with the same issues that I am, and it would be humbling to let them know that they are not alone and that they are worth so much more than what they may be feeling right now.
Have Your Voice Heard: Become an Odyssey Creator
The first thing that I have come to realize is that it is so important to keep in frequent contact with your family. They are the people that will always be there for you. They are the people that will always care. I know in some cases it may not be easy to tell your parents personal things. For a long time, I didn’t tell my mom much about my social life. The past couple years, however, I have become better at opening up and letting her in. I had an hour and a half phone call with my mom the other day, just catching her up and updating her on my series of unfortunate events. That was the first time I had a long conversation with her in a long time and it was such a heartwarming spell. I kept coming up with things to talk about because I didn’t want our conversation to end. Hearing her voice and her encouraging words was exactly what I needed. In addition, my dad tries to talk to me daily, and I appreciate the heck out of that. He is always there to ask me how I am, how classes are going, and if I am taking my allergy medicine on pretty much a daily basis. (Yes Dad, yes I am.) He is always willing to put his work aside to call me if I am having a problem or if I have a question about something. I am so lucky to have such supportive parents, and I need to make it a point to keep contact between them on a much more frequent basis. And I cannot forget my sister. She is a junior in high school and I want to be there for her and be a good and supportive older sister. I FaceTimed her the other day and we gossiped the night away and I did my best to give her advice about some things going on in her life. My family is so important to me and I think I take them for granted sometimes. That is going to change.
Another thing that I have come to realize is that age most definitely does not determine maturity. I have noticed this in a few different cases. A number of times in the past week I have witnessed people older than me act in such an ignorant and immature way towards me or one of my friends. I’ve always considered myself to be rather mature for my age, and I think since being away at college I have continued to prove that to be true. Some people have done some not-so-okay things to me, and I could have reacted back in the immature fashion that they did. I was provoked and I was instigated and I did not fall into their traps. Twitter drama and rumors were things that I expected to be left in high school but I have discovered that not to be the case in the least bit. Your years at college will show you this — you can be a freshman and be more mature than a senior. There is not necessarily anything wrong with this, it is just something that I have picked up on and can sit down at the end of the day and be content that I was the bigger person.
Another thing I have come to realize is that no one should have the ability to dictate your happiness. You should be 100 percent in control of what makes you happy. No one should be able to have that kind of effect on your emotions. It took me a long time to figure this out, but I am so thankful that I finally have. For the longest time, I let the smallest comments or arguments get into my head and send me into a deep state of sadness. When this becomes the case, it is time to take a step back and realize that there is no reason that anybody except for yourself should have any control over your happiness. I let people in my life get the best of me and let them have reign over my emotions. Whether they were cognizant of it or not, what they said to me or about me had a significant amount of influence on me and how I felt. After going through what I went through these past couple weeks, I realized how strong of a hold I let these people that didn’t matter have over my happiness. My happiness is my happiness, and it is in my control.
Another thing I have come to realize is that you need to spend your college years focusing on you and you only. I obviously have been aware of this since the start, but sometimes without even realizing it, you start to lose sight of yourself. College is full of new and exciting people. You will want to meet and make friends with as many people as possible. And of course, there are boys, and plenty of them. It is so easy to lose yourself in the mass of people that is college and put too much attention into that crowd rather than yourself. I started to slowly lose myself mentally and academically a little bit, and it was not an enjoyable time whatsoever. I cared too much about things that weren’t what I should have been spending my time caring about. I am at this great university to get a great education, and that is what I need to spend my college years focusing on. I need to be number one on my list -- nobody else gets or deserves that spot. As I was talking to my mom about this, she told me a saying that I had never heard of, but it really stuck with me. She told me not to see things through rose-colored glasses. By saying this, she was telling me not to look at things with the attitude that they are better than they actually are. More than likely, the iffy friends or the cute boys that you are focusing so much of your attention on and caring about what they are thinking are not as important in your life as you are making them seem. You do not need those distractions in your life — they are not important in the grand scheme of things, despite what you may think right now.
Another thing I have come to realize is that you cannot let other people determine your worth. This is so important and I am so guilty of it. Since I can remember, I have always cared entirely too much about what other people thought about me. And I think it is safe to say that I am not the only one in this boat. I think that it is natural to want approval from other people, but I have come to find out that you are never going to be able to please everyone. Without warning, people are going to drop you, they are going to ignore your existence, they are going to lie to you, they are going humiliate you, they are going to disappoint you — but all those things are a part of life. None of those actions committed by a single person should be able to determine what you feel your worth is. We are so much better than that. We are worth so much more than what someone in the background of our lives thinks about us. The way that people think about you or treat you is a statement of who they actually are as a person, not a statement about you as a person. I think that is something that is very important to keep in mind.
So maybe this helped some people, or maybe it helped no one. Either way it is okay, because it helped me.