Everyone has heard of the reality show Teen Mom on MTV. This show tries to show what it's like as a teen mom. I use the word "tries" very lightly. The true reality is far from what is shown every week in 30 minute segments. Life after becoming a mom changes forever. Life goes in two directions. You can sacrifice yourself and be a good parent or you can be self absorbed.

I say these things because in 1995 at the age of sixteen, I had to swallow the harsh reality that my life was changed forever. I told my parents, my friends, my teachers and every person I cared about that I was pregnant and was due to become a mom in January of 1996. Yes, I know that seems like forever ago, but times haven't changed that much. TV just seems to make it look much easier than it is in actuality.

I decided the night I sat in my living room with my parents and my boyfriend at the time, that I would defy the odds. That, for every negative look I was given in pity, for every stare I got as if I wore a scarlet letter, for every moment I felt less than others, that I would prove them wrong. I would not let any opinion of others, negative or positive, be my reality. I was in control of my choices.

I was raised with wonderful values. Values that I still hold onto deeply to this day. I was Miss Popular, very active in my high school and I absolutely loved being a member of the color guard. My mom was my best friend and I was the epitome of a daddy's girl. My friends were like my sisters and my guy friends would look out for me like I was their little sister. Life was never hard for me. Yes, I was spoiled. Very spoiled. I never knew what it was to not attain my wants or needs.

I write these things because while I wanted to defy the odds, negative things happened first. I was a whore. I was a loser. I was a disappointment. I should have known better. I should be embarrassed. I would never amount to anything. My parents should be ashamed. My relationship was doomed. Friends that I used to count on became strangers, scared that because they were around me, I would tarnish their reputation. Life after motherhood wouldn't exist.

Yet, it did. I gave up Friday night lights, weekends with friends, going to the latest party, shopping for the latest trends and endless hours socializing. All for my son. All because I refused to just be a babysitter to my child so I could be a teen. Those opinions never mattered. I just wanted to be a good mom. He deserved that.

Late nights, long days, hundreds of bottles and diapers. Countless moments of crying fits and I remained happy and confident through it all. I was confident because he, my son, saved me.

While I was rocking my baby boy to sleep, friends were doing drugs. While I was at the park watching my son play, friends were planning their next booze driven weekend. While I was doctoring a sick child, friends were hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. While I was celebrating his each and every milestone, friends were failing classes and running away. My son rescued me from a road, where I know without a doubt ,would have ended me. For this, while I gave him life... I owe him mine. In big part, he was my salvation.

The part not shown on reality TV is the ugly stuff. The struggle of maintaining it all. The devastation of losing friends that were closest to you. A parenting team dissolved into being a single teen parent. Nothing in life is supposed to be easy. Motherhood at any age is hard. It's harder if you have no life plan. It's more than camera time, it's more than being on TV, it's more than getting your paycheck for exposing your moments. It's smiles, giggles, hugs and love. It's knowing no matter what, part of you will always be there. Times will get rough and diapers gross, but the bond, the relationship is worth it.

I'm not writing this to say go get pregnant... you can do it. I'm writing this as a caution. Things will change. Not all changes will be easy, they'll be down right hard and moments will seem impossible. Parenthood isn't meant for teens simply because you still have so much to learn, phases of life to go through, and your own lessons to learn from your failure and successes. Hold yourself accountable and take pride in all of your actions. In the end, it does matter.