"The hardest goodbyes are those that are unsaid and unplanned."
It's tragic, it's heartbreaking.
When somebody young passes away, we certainly can celebrate all that they have achieved and accomplished in their short time here on Earth, but we also think about all the experiences they didn't have. We think about the fact that some will never have their first kiss, never drive a car, never have kids, never get married, never go to college and so much more — all things that we take for granted on a day-to-day basis.
When we hear things like this on the news, we are in shock. "How could this happen? I just saw them yesterday. We talked this morning. This didn't happen. Tell me this is a sick joke." We see an article about it or Facebook posts, and suddenly, it is real. We cry, unsure. We look for pictures, text messages, anything we have with them. Look at them over and over. We think, "When's the last time I said, 'I love you?'" Then we come to the realization that anything can happen to anyone. In ways, it scares us. "What if it were me?" We think about their families and what they must be going through, and we couldn't bear imagining the pain that a mother or father has laying their child to rest or that a sibling lost their brother or sister.
We team up as friends or as family members to help remember the person. We share memories that make us laugh and cry. We feel good for doing this for them, but at the same time we are thinking about how it's not right that we have to do this. We don't sleep for a couple days; we barely eat; we can't make it through the day without wondering why this had to happen.
Then comes the wake. We walk into a building dressed in all black. We wait for a minute as we walk in to brace ourselves for what we are about to see. Deep breaths. We see old friends and hug them tighter than we ever have. Finally, we make our way up to the casket, passing dozens of teary eyes. We see them looking so peaceful, say a prayer, then break down. It's not right. We think of all the times we have hugged them or talked to them. And now, we can't. Then again we wonder why. That night we don't sleep, but what else is new? We know that tomorrow is our final goodbye, and we're not ready for it. The morning finally approaches, and we feel as though the night lasted forever. We see our friends carrying the casket. It's not right, so we break down again. Once we finally get to the gravesite, we don't want to leave. We sit there, tears streaming down our faces, holding onto each other tightly. We then continue to grieve day in and day out. Some days are easier than others, but it will always be a tough thing to swallow.
Years from the day of the passing, we still have questions, we still have memories and we still have the way we found out stuck in our minds. We find hope in shooting stars, prayers and love. We find peace in believing in eternal life. But mostly, we find the greatest strength in ourselves to keep going.
