I can't remember the last time I saw my grandpa smile. Why? Has he become depressed? Did he lose his positive outlook on life? That's not quite it. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, or also known as senile dementia.
"Alzheimer's disease is a progressive disease that destroys memory and other important mental functions.
It's the most common cause of dementia — a group of brain disorders that results in the loss of intellectual and social skills.
These changes are severe enough to interfere with day-to-day life. In Alzheimer's disease, the brain cells themselves degenerate and die, causing a steady decline in memory and mental function." - Mayo Clinic
According to alzheimers.net:
- Nearly 44 million people have Alzheimer's or related dementia worldwide.
- Alzheimer's and other related forms of dementia are the top cause of disabilities in later life.
- In 2015, the cost of caring for Alzheimer's patients is estimated to be $226 billion
- one in nine Americans 65 and older have Alzheimer's disease.
- one-third of Americans 85 and older have Alzheimer's disease.
- Family caregivers report that their emotional stress for their role is high/very high.
While I could sit here all day and give you more facts, it's known that personal examples can be more persuasive towards a problem than anything.
This is my grandpa, James Carey, although he much prefers to be called Jiggs rather than James. He was born in raised in Lynchburg, Virginia. He's a man who is very strong in his faith. To my knowledge, he never veered off of his path walking with Jesus. His mother was even one of the charter members of Thomas Road Baptist Church. One of his biggest passions is golfing. He watches it, plays it, and even has hand-held games when he's not on the course. He's a huge sports kind of guy, and was the captain of almost every sports team in his high school. One of his other favorite sports is baseball. He was drafted by the Detroit Tigers when he was younger, but he got too homesick and quit. He came home and got a different kind of draft. He was drafted into the army where he served for two years before later becoming the secretary of a corporation before it was sold. He is one of the sweetest men I have ever met. He fondly calls my sister, Kathleen, and I "sugar" or "sweetie" and he calls my brother, Daniel, and my younger cousin, Mitchell, either "bud" or "buddy." He's married to my beautiful grandmother, Harriet, and has been for 60 years now. He has two sons, James Jr., better known as just Jay (my father) and Sam (my uncle). He's also very fond of his two daughters-in-law, Ann (my mother) and Patti (my aunt).
It was Christmas of 2014 that any of us really started to notice something major. Before, there were times when he would forget things or drive to church on a Saturday instead of a Sunday, but nothing that made us start looking into someone to care for him. But it was Christmas when it all changed. My grandpa basically never got out of his chair the whole night, something very bizarre. He's an active man and isn't fond of sitting around for too long. We had brought along my family's new puppy and he played with him, but never getting out of his chair.
As the new year came, so did a new scenario with my grandpa. His memory began to get worse and eventually he ended up in the mental section of an assisted living center. If you've never been inside the area of a nursing home where everyone who is in there has Alzheimer's or some sort of memory disease, it's quite the experience. My first time going, I'll never forget. I walked up to my grandpa and greeted him the usual, "Hi Grandpa!" to which he responded in a monotone voice, without even making eye contact with me, "Hi Grandpa." At first, I looked at my mother and kind of laughed it off. It was a little funny that he had called me Grandpa back, but he didn't know. As my Grandpa and my mom went into his room, I followed about a minute behind. I'll never forget his excitement when he looked at me and almost squealed my name as I entered the room, as if he was excited with himself he had remembered my name. I sat and talked to him, feeling as though I had traveled in back time. He asked me about how my older sister was doing in school, she had graduated about three years ago. But, not wanting to confuse him, I said she was doing well, getting A's and B's. As we were getting ready to leave, I stood up as my Grandpa looked at me and said, "Bye Kathleen." Kathleen is my sister, but I was happy to just be acknowledged.
Now, my Grandpa can barely remember anyone's names. Surprisingly, the two people he remembers the best, other than my grandmother, are my mother and my aunt. Often, we get a call from his nursing home that he fell and got another scrape on his paper-like skin. Remember how I said my grandpa isn't the type to sit still? That trait has followed him into Alzheimer's. My grandpa is known for aimlessly walking around the hallways of his section, making sure he walks to every corner and back. He often steals other people's walkers or dining room chairs when he can't find his own walker. It's always funny to walk into the section and see my tall, 6 foot grandpa using some 5'2" woman's walker. Since he walks around more than he relaxes, he's very prone to falling and does it quite often. But, that doesn't stop him. As soon as he's done being checked on by nurses, he's back up and walking. You're welcome to walk with him whenever you visit. But, if you can't keep up, you will be left behind and if you get in his way he won't hold back telling you about it. My sister has been in the way and heard an earful about it. When you go to visit him, you spend majority of your time talking to other patients around since my grandpa is far too busy wearing out the carpets than to sit down and chat.
If you have ever heard anyone say "Alzheimer's/Dementia tears families apart," let me be the first to tell you from first-hand experience that is false. If anything, Alzheimer's makes a family stronger. Why? Because you must all rally around each other to truly understand and stay strong while this is all happening to someone you love.
Right now Alzheimer's/Dementia has no cure, and there is a 0% survival rate. Watching a loved one attain Alzheimer's/Dementia and slowly forget everything and everyone is not something I would even wish on my worst enemy. But together, I believe we can eventually find a cure. The question is, how? Unfortunately, it seems we're still a far ways away from finding a cure. But, there are plenty of fundraising events to help fund researchers. You can attend events like Walk to End Alzheimer's, or you can even make your own events and donate your earnings to people like The Mayo Clinic, or other similar researchers. Most people don't understand just how big of a problem Alzheimer's is until it affects someone in their own family. I know I'm one. Before my Grandpa got Alzheimer's, the only thing I truly understood about it was that the people lost their memories. I didn't realize it completely changes the person's entire life.
We can't end Alzheimer's without help, even just sharing the information so people understand how serious it is can help. Together, we can transform the survival rate from zero percent to 100 percent.
