I love the holidays. Absolutely 100% love Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. It's the best time of the year.

I also hate the holidays because you aren't here. I lost you guys last year in a car accident and holidays just aren't the same.

I see you everywhere in everyday moments, I think about you every day, and imagine what our lives would be like if you were still in it.

The holidays are the hardest along with your birthday which of course falls right in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Our family gets together and tries to make the most of it, but I can tell that it's not just me that misses you. I see the sadness in your mom even as she watches us all open gifts. She tries to hide it but I know.

We try to make every year special for your little boy, I'm not sure how much he remembers you now. You would give him the world for the holidays so we try to do the same, but you can tell it's different and confusing for him.

I see your sparkle in him, but it still doesn't make up for the witty comments and laughs we had together every holiday. I miss your jokes and you always being fashionably late.

You always gave the best gifts even if we hadn't spent time together for a while. Now I cherish those gifts so much more than I ever thought to when you were alive.

And now every New Year I realize that I have to go into another year without you. 2020 is a whole new decade that you didn't make it to.

All these big moments that are supposed to be spent with family always feel off. Your bright light in the room is gone and we are all forced to go on without you but I know you would want us to live life to the fullest.

We miss you, always and forever.