Breakups are hard enough. Losing someone you have countless memories with and care for so deeply is devastating. Adjusting to the single life is painful and annoying; from returning his t-shirts to telling your entire extended family at the next big gathering. The whole process is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. Sometimes, the pain of a breakup can make you wonder what the point of even falling in love is, and it makes you never want to go through it again.
However, there is only one thing harder than breaking up with someone you care about: When who you're breaking up with isn't just your boyfriend, but your BEST friend.
It's like half of your heart just got up and walked away, taking every ounce of happiness with it. You didn't just lose someone you care about, you lost your world. One second, you had a plan and a future and you couldn't imagine anything better. And the next, you are tossed out into the world again, with no one to help you but yourself. The "we" and "us" becomes "I" and "me." When you feel sad, or if something exciting happens, you pick up your phone to call him, but remember you can't. The person you went to when you needed a hug or when you wanted to laugh is not there anymore. The person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with is gone, and you have no idea what to do.
Then comes facing reality; he's not coming back. Eventually, even if you haven't recovered yet, you begin to delete him from your life. You dig out all of his clothes that you have stolen over the years. Upon doing so, you come across your "relationship box." This box contains every little memento of your time together; ticket stubs, letters, photos, and any little object that you cherished about your relationship. You realize you've had things of his that you didn't even remember, because it has been so long. Then, while looking at the pile of all his belongings you are returning, you realize that you have never felt more alone.
It gets easier with time. Getting out of bed in the morning isn't as difficult as it used to be, you have created a new routine and have started doing things on your own. You meet new people, from new friends to new love interests, and maybe even strengthen old friendships with good people. His name, while it still crosses your mind every day, doesn't crush you every time you hear it. You have realized that you did everything in your power to make the relationship work, but it just wasn't right. And while you are still terrified of putting yourself back out there, in fear of being hurt again, you know there is someone even better out there for you, you just have to find him.
In the end, you will never forget the memories you two made. Years down the road, he might still cross your mind, and sometimes the thought of him will be painful, but you are living the life you are supposed to live. Maybe you've found Mr. Right, or maybe he hasn't come along yet, but regardless, you are happy. You learned a lot about yourself during such a challenging time, and you use that knowledge to better yourself in your future. At the time, it seemed impossible that there would be anything better in the world, but there is. Just know that this isn't the end, but rather a new beginning.
