In a nutshell, that phrase is offensive. Ridiculously offensive. I legitimately hate when people refer to me as "the whitest black person" they know. Because, when it comes from white people – generally in a surprised and approving fashion – you’re basically implying that being “white” is a superior and ideal condition. Simultaneously, you are applying a multitude of preconceived characteristics onto my race from which you are drawing your comparison. This is called stereotyping and in nearly every possible situation, it’s wrong. When it comes from black people – generally in the form of some humorless “joke” and in a disapproving fashion – you’re implying that I’ve sold out to a different culture and that I am resisting being black... whatever that means.
Here’s what I’ve learned. When people say that I “act white” or any of the other equally offensive variations of that phrase, they are usually referring to the way I talk, the way I dress, the type of music I listen to.. This a thing I never understood. It’s remarkably annoying. People speak in different dialects all over the country. The spectrum of fashion is a wide and unendingly diverse. I’ve seen iPod playlists that have a plethora of genres on them. So why then, do we take these things and create ironclad associations with race to them? Why are people surprised that I am black, I speak in a more traditional version of English, I dress like a hipster, and listen to Young the Giant, Blake Shelton, and Gustav Mahler in the same sitting. And why? I always want to ask these people “what did you expect from me?” Or “why are my interests and style preferences looked down upon?” I speak with eloquence. This is not a characteristic universally limited to white people. I buy my clothes from Old Navy. This is not a characteristic universally limited to white people. I like Darius Rucker. This... I don’t think I have to explain that one.
Interestingly enough, however, is how I’ve dealt with this over the years. I embraced the title of “The Whitest Black Guy” which only furthered the stereotypes. On a surface level, I found myself feeling like I had to modify my behavior and vocabulary based on whomever I was around at the time. I mean deep modification, like right down to my likes and dislikes. Like, not downloading certain songs onto my iPod for fear that someone would judge me for it. Instead of bracing the true reality of myself, I allowed myself to be weighed down by the whims of others. But that is definitely not the right way to do it.
Over time, I’ve learned that the right way to do is it is to simply be yourself from the get go. Now, I do the things I want to do, possess the style I want to portray, and listen to the music I like to listen to. It took me a while to learn this myself so I understand that it easier said than done. I am still a work in progress; sometimes I still find myself considering what other’s thing before I make a decision but know this; the attitude shift will come in time. “I’m not going to spend my life being a color”, and neither should you (Thank you, “Black or White” by Michael Jackson).
