What It's Like To Be The "Mom Friend"

What It's Like To Be The "Mom Friend"

You aren't old enough to be responsible for people your own age, but you are.

What is a "mom friend" you ask? Every friend group has one. It's that one person in your squad that stands out from the rest. That one special person that takes care of others, puts everyone else above herself, but still manages to be the hilarious, wild individual that the whole group loves. If you're the mom friend of your clan, I'm sure you can relate.

Mom friends are the best self-esteem boosters.

These people will make you feel like you're on top of the world. They'll make that C+ feel like an A+ and your bed head hair feel like an extravagant updo. Whatever the situation, they'll always make you feel as flawless as Beyoncé.

The mom friend controls her squad at social events.

The designated driver every night. But, do we mind? No way! Mom friends consume fewer calories and embarrass themselves enough without the help of alcohol. We also confiscate the cellular devices before someone drunk texts their mom or ex, or posts an unfortunate tweet. We're always there to keep our friends in line and have just as much (or more) fun.

Nobody can hurt your babies.

All mothers are protective of their young. In the wild, the lioness will stop at nothing to provide for her babies. But, trust me, angering the mom friend is much worse than angering any jungle animal in existence.

The mom friend knows how to fix everything.

Whether it's giving regular haircuts to the boys or giving your best girl friend a back rub after a rough day, you always know how to fix it all... Or so they think.

Much like a parent, you take their side even when they're wrong.

If you're the mom friend, you've probably been told, "If I killed someone, I'd call you to help with the body." Should we be flattered or scared? Who knows. But no matter what, you'll always be the shoulder to cry on and late night phone call. No judgment shall ever be passed; and even though you may not support their decision, you'll always support them.

Your friends literally call you "mom."

"Mom" is a cute nickname that only few people earn the right to be called.

Always finding yourself saying, "we can take my car."

You don't care about the mileage or the gas money. You like feeling in control of your life, and knowing that all your friends are safe and sound with you.

You come off as the bossy friend.

"Don't forget that your homework is due at midnight." "Wear your seat belt." "Text me when you make it home." For some reason, you're always the friend that's barking orders. It's OK, though, because everyone listens to you and they know you're sassy because you care.

You're also the over-emotional friend.

If you see us, there's probably a good chance we're crying. Happy, sad, indifferent... We just have a lot of feelings.

You were chosen to be the mom friend.

No one just comes out and says "Hey, will you be our mom friend?" However, it is a mutual selection. The mom friend sticks out because of her loving attitude and her overbearing personality.

Secretly, you love being the mom friend.

We all try to pretend that being the mom friend is a stressful role. But, let's be real... We wouldn't want it any other way. We actually LOVE feeling needed. We have a job, a purpose. We are our friend's second moms. We're their caretaker away from their caretakers. Quite possibly, the best aspect of all, we are the foundation of our friend group! Your friends couldn't function without you! You are the heart and soul of your squad.

So I will ask all you responsible, emotional, crazy "mom friends" out there to proudly hold your water cup high at the frat parties as you dance the night away and keep a head count of your friends, all while knowing that you will safely tuck them into bed that night; and, most importantly, knowing that you will forever and always be... the mom friend.

Cover Image Credit: Screen Rant

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I Don't Rank My Friends, And You Shouldn't Either

All of you earn the title of best, because that’s what you are.

Have you ever hung out with a person who lets you know you aren’t their best friend? They later announce when their real best friend shows up.

They might as well have said, “Oh look, better company!” You’re left laughing at their inside jokes the rest of the night and wishing you had stayed home with your mom instead.

I’ve never understood people who rank their friends. I may have been that person at a time, but thankfully I left that habit in middle school (along with my blue eyeshadow and sparkle Uggs), because the process of placing more value on one person than another just feels wrong.

There is absolutely nothing productive about having only one best friend. The only outcome is hurt among other people you love and the obvious indication that you don’t know how to spread the love. Dude, make new friends & keep the old... Sing it with me!

Now if there is truly only one person you can consider a best friend, then you have more than enough. One true person is better than one hundred fake ones. But if you have a crew of incredible people who make you feel loved and would do anything for you, then it’s time to make it plural. They are all valuable, each as precious as the other.

So shout out to my best friendS. Y’all fill my heart in your own special ways!

Cover Image Credit: tv.com

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Stop Freeloading On Your Friends

Frankly, it unhealthy to expect someone, regardless of how close you may be, to “be there” for you at all times.

I have one request for the new year, I need people to stop freeloading on others emotional labor.

Your best friend will always be there for you and love you, but they are not your therapists.

I’ve had it happen for me and I’m sure that at one point, I did it to others.

Either way, that sort of behavior is unacceptable.

I think we’ve turned friendship into an all or nothing kind of deal, where at the slightest bit of antagonism or lack of yes saying, we “drop” the people that we say we care about.

Frankly, it is unhealthy to expect someone, regardless of how close you may be, to “be there” for you at all times.

It’s 2018 and it's about time we stop expecting a text back within a five-minute window. Or even expecting people to drop their world at a moment notice to pick up ours.

We all want to be good friends that are always there but as we get older, our lives start to change and at some point, our friends have to understand that we can’t keep expending ourselves in order to do that.

My biggest problem with these types of friendships is that there is always one person putting more work in than the other.

They’re the ones that will pick up the phone at four in the morning, pick you up when you decide to get drunk alone (they also pick up the mess), and undoubtedly go through the same conversations over and over again.

They are constantly being used because of their emotional stability or for the simple fact that they have their shit wrapped up just a bit tighter.

I have anxiety issues, I shut off my phone or my notifications multiple times a week.

I have to stay on top of myself DAILY so that I don’t fall back into unhealthy habits.

I don’t have the time to play nursemaid to a full-grown adult or even a daily basis, and I think most people would agree that I shouldn’t have to.

I don’t think anyone should have to, regardless of whether their issues are greater or smaller than mine.

We’re in college and things are just going to get harder, it's not fair to trap your friends or anyone else for that matter in a continuous pattern of free therapy.

It’s not fair to them and if you really need someone to talk to, seek out a professional, start a journal or a private blog.

Find an outlet that works for YOU and doesn’t leave others continuously working to make you better instead of themselves.

I don’t believe that we should all keep our feelings bottled up inside, because I know I’d hate it if one of my friends felt they could never go to me to seek out advice or a listening ear.

But I do believe that we should all be a little more aware of the strain we put on each other and the possible limits our friends have.

Cover Image Credit: pixababy

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