Everyone has heard the numerous, and at times alarming, statistics regarding children coming from broken families. Children from divorce and children from single-parent households are more likely to have behavioral, academic, and psychological issues. They're more likely to drop out of high school, to have self-esteem and relationship issues, and also more likely to use drugs and alcohol.
The statistics exist for a reason, but that doesn't mean you're damaged goods if you come from a broken home. I know kids from divorced and single parent households that are straight A, happy, loving people, and I know kids from "normal" homes with behavioral and emotional issues. The family setting an individual comes from does not define them as a person. Coming from a broken family does not mean that you're broken, and I cannot stress that enough.
However, that does not mean that your family's issues have no effect on you because they do. Just like anything else that happens to you, it's going to have an impact on your life and on who you are. That's why people that come from broken families may be a little bit different; it's because there are some things that only individuals from dysfunctional families can understand, and that changes us.
People from broken families know that they can't have it all and they're taught that from a young age. It doesn't matter if they come from a single parent household, from parents who hate each other and force that negativity on their children, or from parents that genuinely try their best to make their divorce as seamless in their child's life as possible. Every person that comes from divorce knows that they don't get to go to both Christmas Eve parties and they know that spending time with one parent means losing out on time with the other.
They love differently. When you see firsthand how families can break and how love doesn't always last a guard involuntarily comes up. They're more cautious in new relationships and they're weary of trusting others immediately. It takes a while for a person from a broken family to give their all to someone because there is always doubt floating around in the back of their minds. However, when they do finally open up it's like no love you've ever experienced. When someone breaks down the wall of an individual from a broken family they form a bond with you that's like no other.
We're never fully surprised when people leave us, and sometimes we even expect that that's what they're going to do. We know that relationships fail. We've seen it first hand.
They value their friendships and relationships more than the average person. When you spend a good amount of time watching how relationships can go wrong you appreciate it so much more when things go right. They know that love can die and relationships can break, so we truly crave stability and value it when we have it. We know that it may not last forever and that good relationships and friendships should be savored while we have them.
The bottom line is that coming from a broken family does change you. You are going to see relationships and love and families differently. You're going to love in a different way and you're going to value your relationships.
