Do you know what it feels like to be so dependent on absolutely everything except yourself? I have always been the type of person that doesn't make decisions on my own, ever. That was true up until this year. When I first came to college I was so scared because everyone started to branch off and do his or her own thing and for the longest time I thought I would never be able to do that as much as I wanted to. When I would talk to people about how I was feeling everyone would say, “you will find your place, I promise.” For a while I believed that this would never happen. I was wrong.

For a long time, I was in this state of desolation and I felt empty, almost as if something was missing, as if I wasn't in the right place and doing the right thing. I began to kind of fall out and go down this spiral where I had no idea what was wrong. I’m sure everyone has gone through something similar, where something isn’t quite right but you do not know how to fix it. Well...I figured out what I needed to do. It took me quite a long time to stop and realize that I was so dependent on everyone and everything that I stopped doing things that made me feel good about myself. Its sad to me that it took so long to realize that it was time for me to be selfish. Now, the word selfish is said to be so negative but recently I have seen it to be such a positive word. This is because I started to be "selfish" and find things that made me and only me happy. I can’t begin to tell explain how remarkable it feels to focus on yourself after spending months on end so concentrated on everyone and everything else. I started to find stuff that brought me even the slightest bit of joy; things such as taking a run when I was stressed or even finding more friends that brought out the absolute best in me. Now, everyday I wake up and look forward to finding something that will make me feel pure happiness.

There is this word that I would describe how I have felt for the past few months and if you know me even the slightest bit you probably have heard me say it. The word content truly describes how I feel most days now. I am so content with life right now. For someone who has gone through plenty of bad days, I am so proud of where I am now. It took a lot to get to this point. I now know more about myself then I have ever before which brings me true delight.

I would tell everyone how important it is to find things that make you smile and wake up excited for a new day. I know, it is so hard to do but honestly in the end, I could tell you that it is the greatest feeling in the world to truly be content with your life. So wake up everyday with a plan to find even one moment that makes you truly happy. Don’t let your life just be okay, make it amazing. I believe in you.