Every Asian student I know can recall unpleasant memories of being grounded or scolded for getting one bad grade on one small assignment in high school, middle school, or even elementary school.

Some tell horror stories about how their parents checked their grades twice a day, while others remember being forced to practice the piano for hours at a time.

Over the years, I would hear these stories told in slight variations by different friends.

You didn't place in the top 3 of a piano competition? Grounded.

You got a C on a small, insignificant quiz? Grounded.

You want to quit piano and try guitar instead? Nope. Your parents chose piano, so piano it is.

I could never understand their struggles because what I had experienced in my Taiwanese household was nothing like that.

When I was in first grade, I started my first piano lesson. In third grade, I quit because I wanted to.

My parents did not reprimand me, nor did they get angry. When I was in sixth grade, instead of choosing to play the widely popular violin, I chose to play the viola, an unknown instrument viewed by most of the world simply as “the less cool violin.”

When I developed an obsession with origami, my parents bought stacks of square pieces of paper at Staples for me instead of telling me to stop wasting my time. When I failed my first chemistry test, my parents congratulated me. In fact, they didn’t even know their password to the grade checking system at my high school. In the Asian community, this is practically unheard of.

What resulted from this unusual chillness was not a teenager who failed all her classes or stayed home all day.

What resulted was me figuring out things that I genuinely wanted to try.

I joined volunteering organizations, ran track and field, student council, and even joined the swim team on a whim with no swim experience. All while maintaining relatively decent grades.

Because these were things thatI chose to do, I was able to become deeply involved with these organizations without hating every moment of it.

Whenever I joined a new club or discovered a new passion, my parents didn’t care whether it was going to get me into college or not. All they cared about was that I had fun and that I enjoyed the experience. Because my parents didn’t try to dictate every part of my life, I am not afraid to explore every option open to me and deviate from traditional career paths.

Because my parents were “chill”, they were able to raise a child who’s not afraid of her own future.

So, contrary to popular belief in the Asian parents' community, kids do not need to learn both a musical talent and a sport. I ended up getting accepted to the same universities that my peers who were in advanced math or had years of piano experiences did. Simply by doing what I enjoyed and being myself.

Kids do not need perfect grades, nor do they need to be two levels ahead in math.What they need is a support system that will allow them to take charge of their own lives and find their own passions so that one day, they can pursue a job or a lifestyle that they will be truly happy with.