I recently turned 20, and I'll be honest and say I did not think much about the age change this time around. On my birthday, I felt, looked, and acted the same as I did when I was 19. Being twenty was not really a big deal. I had finally made it out of the teens, but was still a year short of the big 2-1. For me, this was just another year passing by.
But this year is different. It's a unique time of life and needs to be taken advantage of before it's gone. I didn’t appreciate it right away, but when I did, I realized a few other sobering lessons too.
My perspective changed when a close friend of mine started joking with me about my new age, "Half-way to forty!" she laughed. Of course, she was right, but forty was so far away. It was not something that was going to keep me up at night. My focus was on the hype which would accompany my 21st birthday the following year.
But the “half-way to forty” comment soon became more than just a funny thought. It became a realization.
My whole life, I had always desired to be older than the year I was presently at. I couldn’t wait to turn the next big age because I thought it meant I would be more grown up. When I was 9, I wanted to be a double digit 10 year old. When I was 10, I wanted to be a teenager at 13. When I was 13, I wanted to be sweet 16. When I was 16, I wanted to be an adult at 18. When I was 18, I wanted to be in my 20s. Now I’m here, and I am already waiting for this year to pass so I can finally be 21. When would it end? When I turned forty and realized I had wished another twenty years by?
I always thought that being older would give me the desired feeling I wished for so badly: to be treated equally as an accomplished and respected individual. Instead, every year I was greeted with the notion that I was still a youngster and that maybe in a few years I’d reach my sought after age. I had always hated when I was dismissed or talked down to because of my current age. Sometimes I would even be dismissed from hanging out with older friends because I was viewed as young. So, year after year, I continued to chase the next big age.
The constant suggestions were always, “Wait until you’re old enough”, “Wait until you get to high school”, “Wait until you’re a senior”, “Wait until you’re in college”, “Wait until you graduate.”
Well, I’m tired of waiting. Until recently, I was blind to this realization. Discovering the “halfway to forty” perspective really caused me to think about how I was living up to this point. Instead of worrying about gaining the respect from others by gaining another year behind me, it’s time to start respecting myself, and the way I want to live in the moment now.
I saw turning twenty as a dull year where nothing special was going to happen, when in fact, I was looking at it all wrong. Twenty is a prime year where I have the unique opportunity to explore life. I can take the time to discover new things about myself before my life takes a new path after I finish college in a short two years. Sure, twenty is not one of the famous, fussed over ages like 21 or 25. But it is whatever I want it to be- and I want it to be awesome.
