This week was pretty hard for me. Three years ago, during my freshman year, my grandpa past away. Up until that point I had never lost someone I was so close to or who had meant so much to me. It was unexpected and it really sucked. I was really lucky that I have such a close family who have always been really good about being there for each other. Goodbye never really came too fast but when I finally did let go, I felt different in a way.
When you realize that someone is gone, it's different and it's hard because you know they're never coming back and that is something that you have to deal with because you can't change it. The moment came for me when I was playing music, during a concert, during a big swell. There was a release and it felt good and I knew things were different. They weren't bad and they weren't good but they were different.
Recently, my grandma moved into a significantly smaller house, it was weird but it is also good. In this much smaller home, she had to get rid of a lot of things. We had a chat about things and letting go of things, Obviously, she wanted to keep the things that had belonged to her mom or things that her seven kids or seventeen grandkids gave her but she had told me to not get too caught up in material things.
I've been pretty good about letting go recently, at trying to be more free and not being so concerned with material things. My grandma said my grandpa and I were in common in that way. This was an infinite goodbye although I see him constantly in my grandma, in my mom, and in my cousins.
Goodbye can come a lot of different ways. Maybe it comes when you graduate college, when someone you love leaves, if someone passes away. Goodbye can mean something different to everyone and just because you say goodbye doesn't necessarily mean that something has to end.
There are less permanent goodbyes like when someone you love goes away for a few months. You get excited for them and you are going to miss them but you know it is what they need.
Goodbye is always hardest with the ones we love but learning to say goodbye whether temporary or infinite allows us to discover things about ourselves, become closer to mutual loved ones, and find true appreciation for what we had or still even have.
