I spent the first half of this summer studying in New York City. The experience was educational and amazing, but instead of taking this seriously, I’ll be making fun of it and complaining. Here’s a list of what I learned.
1. When a Greenpeace guy asks you, “are you wearing all black to protest oil spills?", not engaging is probably the best tactic.
2. When you almost fall on someone on a shaky Subway car, you should apologize even though it was an accident. Otherwise, he will spend the rest of the ride cursing about you under his breath.
3. A taxi driver might not have an auxiliary cord, but you can still play songs from your iPhone and have a grand old late-night singalong.
4. Flip-flops almost always lead to regret.
5. Avoiding eye contact solves a lot more problems than you might think. Such as when a mariachi band shows up on your Subway car and refuses to leave without payment.
6. If you go to bottomless mimosa brunch, you might end up lost in Harlem eating pizza. But that’s just part of the adventure. Also, contrary to their use of "bottomless," you are absolutely required to wear pants.
7. Nothing smells worse than hot garbage on a humid day in the city.
8. Having guests at dorms is more complicated than checking into a hotel.
9. Cash-only places are more common than I expected.
10. Going out is a process: deciding where to go, transportation, and staying out long enough to make it feel worth it all contribute to a typical Saturday night.
11. Pizza is better here. It’s also more expensive.
12. Come to think of it, everything is more expensive.
13. Riding the Subway is pretty much the worst, which is why it’s also the cheapest.
14. After seeing how stressful the city can be, happy hour becomes a necessity (and not something we go to on Thursdays).
15. Central Park is a great place to escape the city — except that it feels just as noisy and crowded as Broadway.
16. Hand sanitizer is not a want, it’s a need.
17. There is always someone cooler than you.
18. Sirens are as commonplace as birds chirping in the morning.
19. Pigeons are the rats of the sky.
20. Anyone who lives in the city is probably willing to punch someone in the face if necessary. And I respect that.
