It all started when the spring semester started. Everything was great, I was getting my groove back and I was doing great in my classes. Then the end of February hit and my break up happened. My world was turned upside down. I loved the man so much when it happened, I didn't know how to handle it. It affected my daily routines, my schoolwork, I had no motivation to do anything. All I wanted to do was stay in bed and cry. I went out more than usual, cried so much, and I ended up starving myself for three days. After the third day of starving myself I went to the bathroom and when I saw my urine, I was appalled with myself. It was so discolored and with me knowing what normal urine looks like, I was so scared. I could not believe I let myself get this bad.

That was my wake up call to things needing to change. So, I promised myself that I would do better and be better. Let me tell you, it has been so hard to do so. While this was happening, I had been talking with my mom to visit her for Spring Break because I could not stay in Springfield any longer. I was suffocating and going crazy. I knew with me wanting to go a week before break, ticket prices were not very appealing and I wasn't able to go. Then, I was able to get the funds and was able to surprise my mom and sister. But, there was a catch, I had to travel to Chicago in order to fly to Vegas and of course I agreed.

Traveling to Chicago has definitely a trip and fun at the same time. I had time to kill before I had to go to the airport and took my chance to explore downtown Chicago. I just want to say, I was like a little child in a candy shop. I had so much fun exploring, walking around. Seeing the very tall buildings and of course the iconic Bean. It was a shame the park was closed and I was not able to touch the Bean, but at least I was able to admire it from afar. After I had my fun, I started to make my way to the airport traveling by their way of train. While I was on the train, I was pondering my whole adventure. Pondering my whole life in that 20 minutes I was on the train.

I was so happy with myself, taking a chance and choosing me for once. I had not smiled so much since my break up. I was smiling not at life, but for me. I was actually smiling for me. There were people who told me I was not allowed to travel and I was not allowed to leave Springfield. I was told I was not emotionally stable enough to leave and visit my mother. Did I listen? Nope. I chose to do something spontaneous and I chose me.

This was all happening when the Corona Virus was staring to accelerate. Fast forward two weeks and this virus is getting worse. My classes are now online and things on campus are starting to shut down. People are moving out of the dorms, sports have been cancelled and it feels like things will never go back to normal. A week goes by and the school releases gradation will not happen. When I read the announcement, I cried for a good 30 minutes. I have worked so hard to get my spotlight and now it has been taken away from me. My senior year of college has been taken from me, even my summer classes are online.

This virus has ruined everything for me, my plans, graduation, it makes me so sad and depressed knowing I won't be able to study with my friends or go out and have fun because everything is cancelled and shut down.

Change is hard, my life has changed and has gone upside down so much within a month. It is hard to be positive about everything that is happening. But, even though it is hard, it is doable. I have had to change how I do my schooling, how I communicate with my friends and I know in the end, things will always work out. You just have to have faith and be positive. My positivity has stemmed from my little sister. She has been the only person to keep me sane through it and I will be so sad when I have to leave to go back to Missouri.

Some may say me going to Vegas to be with my mom was me running away and yes that is a factor, but there is something about being with your mom that makes the world not seem so scary and things will be okay and I have felt that. My mom knows what to say and how to make me feel better, even though it is sometimes hard to hear. She has been there for me through everything and I seriously do not deserve her as my mother.

I am so glad I made the choice to come here and be with my mom and my sister. I have grown mentally and emotionally and my heart is slowly healing. I have learned so much about myself. I know I am a strong woman and I can overcome anything that comes into my path. Will it be hard? Yes. Will I be able to overcome it? Absolutely.