It's always frustrating trying to explain a disorder to someone with no experience with that disorder. There are always so many intricacies that often make no sense to someone who doesn't suffer from it. This article should clear some of that up.
It is never that I don't want to...
fold the laundry, wash the dishes, shower, do my makeup/hair, cook, eat, sleep, do my homework, go to work, the list goes on.
It is never that I just don't want to do any of these things. It is that I'm not in my own body. I'm literally standing next to myself, watching myself sit on the bed and do unimportant things while staring at the piles of laundry, mounds of dirty dishes, and sitting in the same clothes I've worn for three days.
Inside my head, I'm screaming, "Just! Do! It!" I want to do it. I want to be able to wash laundry and then immediately fold it and put it away. I want to cook, eat, and clean, all within a couple of hours. I want to remember to eat every day. I want to remember that I need to shower. But, my brain is too busy freaking out about things it made up, made more dramatic than it needs to be, or literally just spazzing out because "something" doesn't feel right but it has not one single clue what that something is.
So, no. When I tell you that I haven't put the laundry away in weeks because I literally can't get myself to do it, you cannot respond with, "Well I don't want to go to work right now, but I have to so I'm doing it" or "Well I never want to do my homework but I have to to graduate, so I do it anyway."
Procrastinating on important activities has nothing to do with want or desire. Trust me, I want to be on top of everything. I want to have all of my assignments done early. I want to be able to jump out of bed for work, school, etc. I want to never have dishes piled up. I would LOVE to always be doing what a normal person does.
You cannot understand until you have dealt with it yourself. You will never understand until you've ended a day by realizing you didn't eat anything the entire day or that you haven't showered in three days. Not until you're sitting on your bed staring at a hamper overflowing with laundry and you're telling your body to get up and do it, but your brain isn't sending the signal to your limbs.
Depression isn't cute. It's not endearing. It's disgusting. It's revolting. It's unreal.
