In my short time living, I have encountered three very loud men with remarkably similar characteristics, which leads me to believe that there may be others like them out there. If you know someone like these loud men, then below is a list of aspects they you may or not realize about them. Obviously, not all loud men will fit every single one of these characteristics, but they will identify with a majority of them.
1. They seem immature at first: I call these men “loud men” because that is often the first way they are seen. They could scream, “I love peanuts!” at the top of their lungs in the middle of a mall food court. Or yell out an entire Shakespearian monologue at warp speed after only minutes of meeting your parents. Or loudly sing “Booty Butt Cheeks” from The Boondocks in the middle of your college campus. Upon your first impression of them, you will either love them or hate them. But no matter what, you will learn that they are loud very quickly. Along with this loudness, they will also seem immature, because their loudness will almost always be part of a joke.
2. They are very artistic: These men crave self-expression. Whatever art form they chose to achieve that expression; they will undoubtedly be wicked talented at it. Whether they are an artist, actor/singer/musician, or a break dancer and a guitarist, these guys will seem to pick up something and instantly know how to do it well. Their secret? Art feels like life or death to them. Once they find an art form that suits them, they will obsess on it until they get really good. He will learn how to break dance in a week just so they could avoid dancing with strangers. Another might draw because it is the only time he can be still and alone with his thoughts. Or he will act because he can put on a face and avoid what is really bothering him. There’s always a deep reasoning behind their artistic talents.
3. They are very intelligent (but their grades don’t show it): Loud men will have often done terribly in school. Perhaps barely squeaking by in high school with straight C’s (with the exception of their chosen artistic talent/obsession) or even dropping out or refusing to go to college. American education does not treat these guys well, often mistaking them as the dumb class clown. However, these men have an insane gift for memorization, such as memorizing the release date of seemingly every rock album in existence, remembering 20 scripts at a time, or understanding computer manuals as early as nine years old. On the other hand, these boys often have a very difficult time focusing on anything outside of their chosen obsessions, and so, they receive bad grades. In fact, many of them may have been diagnosed as being ADD/ADHD as a kid.
4. They feel incredibly isolated/misunderstood: Because the majority of the population does not think the way they do or have the same obsessions, they feel isolated. They often see things from a very different perspective and feel frustrated when no one else agrees with them. Even if these men have a lot of friends (and they often do), they will still feel alone. They walk out of their rooms every day and put on their loud persona, but inside they are quite upset at how far away they feel from their friends and family.
5. They are often told to shut up: Whether it is coming from strangers, family, friends, peers, coworkers, or teachers, they will be told to be quiet many times in their lives. This will infuriate them, and often they will continue to be loud or be even louder. These men hate to be censored, controlled, or silenced, and thus they are extremely distrustful of authority. They’re very stubborn about their vocal nature because they see these attempts to silence them as personal affronts. It may seem like they are ignorant of social protocol, but in reality they are aware of it. They just couldn’t care less about it. Remember, they’re desperate to express themselves, so when they are silenced, it effects them deeply.
6. They love deeply: Many assume these loud men are fighters, but in reality they are lovers through and through. When these men find a girl or guy that they are in love with, they will make sure to do everything they can for that person. Whether it is driving 10 hours to give their boyfriend a hug, refusing to leave his girlfriend after she suffers through multiple mental breakdowns, or carrying his passed out girlfriend up three flights of stairs just so she could sleep in the comfort of her own bed, they will go through great lengths to make sure their significant other is happy. They are very loyal and compassionate. They invest everything they have into a relationship. And as a result, they are usually the ones that get their hearts broken, leaving them emotionally devastated for months at a time.
7. They are prone to drug/alcohol abuse: These loud men have two faces, their carefree loud persona and pained expression that lives behind that persona. These guys have a lot that they can’t tell people about and so they sometimes turn to destructive behavior to release some of their demons. These men never drink for fun; they drink to forget. They get high to get lost. They drink when they’re alone.
8. They have a dark past: If you ever get close enough to a loud man, you will learn of their numerous scars. Their scars could stem from an abusive relationship with a significant other or from physical and/or emotional abuse from their families. Often, it is both. Whether his stepmother threw his own birthday cake at him as he ran out of the house, his father slit his wrists in front of him and told him it was his fault, or his brother used to attack him in violent rages (leaving him with visible scars), these men have hellish memories that haunt them. They have been told over and over again that they are not good enough. And sometimes they find themselves believing that they really aren’t worth the trouble, and so, they get lost. They self-destruct. They try to block out their sadness with their loudness, art, and obsessions.
So don’t be so quick to judge a loud man, because they are survivors, artists, and visionaries. And there is so much more to their loud exterior.
