One of my love languages is certainly acts of service. Doing something, small or large, to make some one’s life easier brings me a lot of joy and it’s how I show others I care for them. I am also, however, afraid of being walked all over. It is easy to get caught in the cycle of doing something kind for someone who does not appreciate it, and end up becoming their servant.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being kind to other people. Feeing motivated to be your best, kindest self is a good thing.
But, in a fast-paced world of trying to beat other people out of jobs, experiences, and success, there isn’t always space for casual kindness. When we are so entirely consumed by the prospect of nailing down our dream job, holding the door for the person behind us seems like too much effort. And while there’s always the prospect that the person you were just a little too sassy to in the hall was your potential employee, it seems more worrisome that the people we don’t have time to lend a hand to are our loved ones.
When I’m stressed about trying to achieve success, I forget to call my parents as often as I should. When I’m concerned about getting to the top as fast as possible, I can’t seem to find ten spare minutes to help my roommates. I know I do it, and I know I’m not alone. When I get caught up in the idea of being a cutthroat business woman, I convince myself it’s ok to treat people poorly.
We don’t have to choose between success and kindness.
In fact, having a spirit of kindness seems to get people a lot farther in life. The stories of businesses plagued by corruption, ultimately doomed to failure were composed of leaders that believed in knocking people down to climb the ladder of success. But businesses that have thrived ethically and fiscally have been marked by leaders and subordinates that lived with a spirit of service and kindness, refusing to sacrifice kind hearts for business success.
Not that we should need stories of business success to convince us that it’s perfectly acceptable (and encouraged) to be kind. We should be kind because it means something to us and to the world. And if we’re not here, helping our boss on a tough project, caring for our sick family and friends, and lending a hand even when it doesn’t seem fun, no one else will.
