Whether you're trying to lose weight to look good in your sister's bridesmaids dress or you, like myself, were at one time a stellar high school athlete coming to terms with the fact that no longer having a coach around five days a week has caused you to let yourself go, going to the gym has become a thing that a lot of people have a love/hate relationship with. Whatever your backstory is, it's hard to deny that some days just getting to the gym is a feat in and of itself. On one of those harder days, I can almost guarantee you that you have had an inner monologue similar to mine before and during sweating to the hits of the 80s.
1. "I do not have the words to describe how much I don't want to do this today."
2. "No, no, I like jalapeno ranch and wine way too much to not be hitting the gym at least three times a week."
3. "You got this, you're a champ. Power through and then we can go home and nap!"
4. "Hey, that's my elliptical. You're on MY elliptical. Why are you using mine? Do you even know who I am?!?!"
5. "Fine, I'll just use this one over here."
6. "Nope, this one sucks, everything sucks."
7."I miss you, elliptical."
8. "What do you mean I've only been here for 5 minutes, are you serious?!"
9. "Do it. Fierce. Power."
10. "Okay, maybe this isn't so bad..."
11. "No, on second thought this must be what dying feels like."
12. "It's the eye of the tiger it's the thrill of the fight risin' up to the challenge of our riiiiiiiivaaaaaaaaaaals"
13. "Tone it down, Rocky, you've still got like 10 minutes left on this stupid thing."
14. "Nope, nope I lied it's bad! Red alert, red alert!!!!"
15. "Do normal people sweat this much? I don't think normal people sweat this much. God, I'm disgusting."
16. "Two minutes left. Sprint hard. Run like there's a sale on [insert favorite brand] dresses and there's only one left in your size"
17. "Ooooh, stair climber! That could be fun! Let's hop on that for a few minutes, can't be that hard!"
18. "I have looked into the eyes of the Devil himself and there is only StairMaster. This is the end."
19. "Abort mission StairMaster!!! Abort, abort!!"
20. "Aaaaaaaaaaand we're done here"
21. "Let's go lift some weights, gotta get toned!"
22. "Oh, that's way heavier than I thought..."
23. "...Just gonna put this back down."
24. "Is that guy looking at me?"
25. "He is kind of cute. Hey bb, how you doin'? You want to come spot me?"
26. "No, oh my god that was so creepy. What is wrong with me?!"
27. "Oh, okay, he's definitely looking at me. Did he hear me think that? Are you trying to flirt with me strange mind reading, budget cut Chris Pratt?"
28. "No, he's not trying to flirt. I look like a dead horse. Literally no."
29. "Maybe he's surprised at the amount of strength I have in my tiny girlish frame?"
30. "Or maybe I'm doing something wrong!"
31. "OH MY GOD AM I DOING THIS WRONG SOMEONE HELP"
32. "Just keep pretending you know what you're doing. Fake it 'til you make it, kid!"
33. "whoooooooooa we're halfway theeeeereeee whooooooooooaohhhhhh living on a prayer"
34. "You know what sounds awesome right now? Cheese fries."
35. "No stop, I'm literally working out right now. Stop thinking about cheese fries. I'm having chicken and grilled vegetables when I get home."
36. "Okay, self, I hear you, but cheese fries."
37. "Last set you got it, champ. Keep squatting! 3...2...1... DONE"
38. "Oh, oh no. Now I have to walk down the stairs."
39. "Everything hurts and I'm dying"
40. "Maybe if I just kind of throw myself down it'll hurt less."
41. "Do I have a six pack yet?"
42. "No...."
43. "So, same time again tomorrow?"
