Sometimes, we learn about ourselves in the most surprising ways. Sometimes, we are thrown into an unexpected situation and learn how we respond to spur-of-the moment decisions. Sometimes, our car breaks down on the highway, and we have to figure out how we handle a stressful situation that was completely unprovoked. Do we panic or do we stay calm? For me, I started discovering attributes about myself through reading.
I read a variety of different genres, but the most prevalent are sci-fi and fantasy. I'm sure you've at least heard of "Game of Thrones." It's a hugely popular TV show on HBO, and the first book in the largely loved "Song of Ice and Fire" series by George R. R. Martin. I read the novel a few years ago, and while reading it, I realized a few things.
First, animal deaths are not something I can deal with. I can read a novel where half the cast is killed by the end and feel relatively fine, but the second an animal's safety is merely questioned, I'm a mess. I also realized that I tend to feel more emotion towards animals because, usually, they haven't done anything wrong. Often, they just want love, and they are often the victims of some sort of hate.
As I read on, I discovered that I really love a tortured, conflicted, strangely ambiguous relationship. In a novel full of political intrigue and betrayal, I love the story lines that start questionably and turn into something powerful—not solely romantic relationships either, just relationships in general. I've realized I'm a bit like that in real life, too—not to an extreme extend as the characters in the novels, but in my own way. If I'm immediately thrown into a situation with someone I don't really know and they are overfly friendly and sputtering a ton of personal information, I will be less likely to want to see him/her again.
But, if I meet someone and they are talking about relevant topics that eventually, through time, become something a bit more personal, (say an interest in a certain movie), I'm more likely to keep talking with them. This could eventually lead to meeting again. Just like Dany and Khal, I can't grow in a relationship that lays everything out on the line the first time we meet.
I've also realized that, while it is interesting to read about, I don't like conflict in my life. Instead of confronting people if I have an issue with them, I prefer to just stay silent and cut them out of my life. Sometimes, I feel anxious just reading about conflict and confrontation, so it's definitely not something I need to surround myself with.
Finally, I've learned that I love fantasy books and the magic and political intrigue that usually come with them. There is just something so interesting about worlds so different from our own.
