I tend to talk about theatre a lot (in case you haven’t guessed by now). Throughout my three years in high school, theatre has been my pathway and the PAC has been my very comfy home. I cannot wait to look back on all the memories and mishaps that inspired me to truly embrace what I love to do: spending six months in the East Hall café doing Smithwick’s warm up exercises that kill us all, the “Urinetown” cast party when we were covered in dirt (haha makeup), the tight hugs and many tears that came when we won our first Shuler, tripping on the Millie suitcase while running into a scene, and hundreds more crazy, memorable moments. Recently, I began realizing that I only have about a year and a half left on the stage where I fell in love with theater. That is scary. I also realized that when I graduate, I will be leaving a group of people who have influenced, supported, and loved me like no one else ever has. That is even scarier. But theater has opened me up to so many options and possibilities, and even though moving forward from the familiar will be hard, I’m positive that I am not scared of the future.
Looking back to freshman year, I remember being hesitant and intimated by the theatre: auditions you say? Ha! No, thank you. But a very close friend and mentor of mine convinced me to just give it a try, what did I have to lose? One opportunity is all it took to sign me up full time and make this art what I want to do forever. Yeah, it sounds cheesy, but the future has really been on my mind lately, and I have tons (no really, like a lot) of questions and concerns about my pathway.
For one thing, I know for a fact that professional theatre is swimming with extreme talent, but opportunites are limited. I am not blind to the fact that this pathway is competitive and disciplined. But I am a believer in doing what you love and accepting your successes and failures with humbleness. I expect to fail and make many mistakes before I find my footing in the theatrical world. Am I afraid to fail? Oh yes, very much so. But making mistakes is better than quitting, right? So yes, I am terrified for that one audition I’m going to blow, or that one important note that I will screech, or that line I’m going to screw up, but I’m not going to quit. Because you don’t quit things that you love.
I’m also at several crossroads as to where I want to go. Not just for college, but just in general: am I going to move up the NYC and just start the audition process? Is Broadway the goal? Do I want to stay local and gain experience before I try to audition for the big leagues? What about film acting? Honestly, I’m not quite sure yet. New York City is the dream, but gaining experience is also a key factor in success. And yes, theatre is my pathway, but what if that path leads me to a camera rather than a stage? There are so many doors to open in so many places. And even as I sit here, frantically typing and thinking about all these possibilities, I remember something important: I have time. I am young and curious, and I am not afraid of time. Experience, relationships, and memories all come with time. So wherever I go and wherever I end up, I have the time, and I’m not afraid.
Again, the future has sparked many questions in my mind. Am I certain that I will be successful in this pathway? I don’t know. And as scary as that is, it is also exciting. I get to make those choices and be brave about my decisions and who I am as an artist. And even if Broadway remains a dream and I find success down another pathway, I will never forget the stage I first walked onto. The stage that I fell in love with the arts. But most importantly, I will never forget the people that inspired me to follow that dream.
Dream on, fellow actors.
