Rushing a fraternity is something the media portrays very inaccurately. We have all seen the movies where sucking up to us (brothers) and saying that they look buff in their Ralph Lauren Polo shirt is what we want to hear. From my experience with rush week, and meeting potential members of the fraternity, it is completely unnecessary to try to butter me up in order to get on my good side. Us fraternity members would much rather have a genuine conversation with you that doesn't involve you man-flirting with us. We don't really want to hear that because it shows us that you think that is the only way to make us laugh or smile. The purpose of rush week is for us to get to know you!
There are a lot of things we would like to know about you. We don't care about how much money your parents make, if you bench over 300 pounds, or if the number of girls you have hooked up with is equivalent to how many parking tickets I get on a regular basis (which is a lot). I know it's hard to believe, but you also don't have to look like a Ken doll, either. We only make our judgments about you once we talk to you and get to know you. If you don't make an effort to talk to us and show that you are interested in fraternal life, then we will never know if you are a cool guy or not.
The only thing worse than not talking to us at all, is talking to us exclusively about partying and women. Yeah, it is cool and all, but it is a poor reflection of your personality. If you think that you are automatically going to gain our respect by saying you get more tail than an oak tree, then you are terribly misinformed. If you talk about the banger you threw in high school that everyone and their mother went to, I am not going to respect that, either. I cannot speak for every fraternity member when I say these things. However, I can almost guarantee that all of them would prefer you to be yourself instead of conforming to what you think we like. Granted, all fraternities are different and are composed of different people, but don't try to be someone that you are not.
The best advice I can give to all the rushees out there is to visit as many fraternity houses as you can. Talk to as many brothers as you can. The fraternity you decide to join is not a decision you can take back. It is with you for life. That is why it is important to find who you fit in with, and who you can see yourself being with for life. If you feel the need to not be yourself around people who are supposed to like you for who you are, then drop them and move on to the next house.
Good luck to all of you during rush week! Just remember, we want to get to know you, not hear about us!
