They make you want to tear your hair out sometimes, while others they make you laugh more than anyone else could. They give you support, although there are times when they refuse to, and it makes you want to slam every door in the house. They do everything for you and sometimes, you don't always show your gratitude, but that won't stop them from loving you.

This is your family. The very people who can either bring you great joy or great pain. We all have different families, not to mention for some people their friends are their family, which is not a bad thing at all. Despite how unique each person's own family may be, there is one thing all have in common that fits them under the category of a family. That one thing is love — which can ultimately result in either wanting to fight loud enough for the neighbors to hear, or to give out hugs.

It is often said we cannot choose our family, which I find to be a rather false statement — and I'm sure many others would agree with me. The person who has grown up with a family that never really showed care for them or constantly teared them down may instead choose the friends who never gave up on them and offered them major support. We can most certainly choose our family because ultimately, human beings want to choose the people who have unfailingly shown their love for them. For some people, those who loved them the most have been friends. And that is OK because it is better to surround yourself with a loving, non-blood related family than with a toxic group of actual kin who treat you the very opposite of how they expect to be treated. As Gigi Kaesar said, "Love makes a family," not just the people you share genetics with. However, do remember that with the blood family you do have, you cannot change them in the sense of "choosing your family," and you have to come to accept them just as they accept you — unless they are harmful enough for you to need to distance yourself.

No matter the type of family, we are all flawed human beings, and thus we will often let those we love down. Whether it be your friends or family, no one has ever had either without some conflict arising throughout their time together. Remember that time you wanted to wear a belly shirt to be just like Kim Possible, but your mom said no because you were barely 8? Well, maybe you don't — that situation really only applies to me. But something like that counts as conflict, even if it is an issue of smaller proportion. And conflict in family ranges from the smaller things to things that are very serious, even life-altering. Just as being told I could not dress like the amazing Kim Possible made a 7-year-old me pout passive aggressively, not receiving the support we expect of our family can often upset us. And that is perfectly OK. We will never agree with any human being on everything entirely, especially if it's our own family. But it is important to keep in mind that most of the time, this lack of encouragement comes from love, not a hidden agenda to ruin your happiness.

I look back now, and I am incredibly thankful my mother stopped me from assuming I could do everything an animated high schooler could do when I was only 8. If parents refuse to give in to your begging, it is not always to be cruel. If an older sibling denies you something, it is possible they are being a little stingy (guilty of not wanting to share my sour Rainbow Airheads that one time), but sometimes they are genuinely trying to guide you in a better direction. If friends all gang up on you to tell you it's a bad idea, they probably have a valid point and are just putting your best interests at heart. Sometimes we have to let others down, or be let down, to show our love or realize how it can be better shown to avert conflict.

Many people who have been in love romantically say that love hurts. This can be true even for familial love — it can hurt us sometimes, and the decisions we may have to make for that love can be tough. But it can also bring us great joy, even in the little things no one else may understand, like playing around with kiddie instruments during a winter blackout by the fireplace, or going to a cheesy Renaissance Faire every year as tradition. Ultimately, there is really no other love that can trump the love your family (or friends who are your family!) have for you and put into everything they do for you, whether it is something you like or not. I have only been alive for 17 years, but every day I learn more about family love and how it works. And the learning process will continue for the rest of my life, just as it will in yours. So, as we begin to pass through another year and as kids get older, even graduating to go off to college, remember the people who are family to you, blood-related or not, and cherish the love they will always have for for you.