"We Wish You a Merry Christmas", "Santa Baby", and "Holy Nights" are all songs that make us think about December and winter and Christmas. For me, the holiday season was always a little out of the ordinary and these songs never gave me that north pole, jingle bell, frosty feeling quite like everyone else. Being Jewish around the holidays is like celebrating your best friends birthday for 25 days. You can't party like it's your birthday, but you can still have fun... eight crazy nights of fun!
Growing up in a very non-Jewish area, most of my friends were always shocked to find out I was Jewish around the holiday season. They either never had a friend that was Jewish or never met another Jew and didn't quite understand what all that entailed. There is no celebrating Christmas which meant not getting to decorate a tree or bake cookies for Santa. There are a handful of people who do celebrate both but I still get questioned often if I also celebrate Christmas, like God forbid if I don't I'm missing out and should feel completely FOMO. News flash - no need for sympathy. If you didn't hear me before, we get to celebrate for eight straight nights and I wouldn't trade it for a thing. Although, in addition to that there are plenty of misconceptions that are unknown about us around the holidays.
So, here I am to explain everything your Jewish friend has always wanted to tell you, your friends, and all the employees that wish us a Merry Christmas when we leave the mall or supermarket. We're used to being a little neglected around the holiday season and that's okay, but it doesn't mean we don't have a few thoughts about it.1.) So for one there's not really a wrong way to spell Hanukkah. It tends to get butchered A LOT but it's a Hebrew word so the English translation has a few (or 14) different methods for it. It can be spelled Chanukah, Chanukkah, Hannukah, Hanukah, etc. There are more Jewish ways of spelling it as well as more commercial ways but for the most part these are the ones I would stick to when it comes to knowing your stuff.
2.) Yes, we always work or have tests and rehearsals through our holiday. To be honest, Hanukkah isn't the most religious holiday but it doesn't mean we enjoy being at school for it either. "I can't come in I'm making latkes."
3.) We love Christmas movies but think about it when was the last Hanukkah movie you ever saw!?
That's what I thought.
4.) It was actually really hard keeping it a secret that Santa wasn't real from you. Yes we knew all along but we were good friends and didn't want to ruin the surprise.
5.) Happy Holidays is politically correct, we're not the Grinch we just don't all celebrate the same holiday as you. (We're really not offended if you say it though.)
6.) Thank you Adam Sandler for being the first person to write a popular Hanukkah song! AKA the only Hanukkah song known to man. You rock!
7.) We don't always get 8 presents but we do celebrate for 8 nights. So that's a win-win already! Latkes, Dreidels, Gelt and more!
8.) There's no such thing as a Hanukkah Harry, we tell our parents what we want, it's as simple as that.
9.) We were never threatened with a naughty or nice list.
10.) Latkes are delicious. Nuff said.
11.) We hate getting ornaments as gifts. Newsflash: we can't do anything with them except for the fact they make great white elephant gifts to re-gift!
12.) Yes we eat Chinese food and watch movies on Christmas. What else are we supposed to do?
13.) Don't feel bad that we don't celebrate Christmas, we're just sorry that you never had a Bar/Bat Mitzvah with a kick ass party surrounded by all your best friends.
14.) No we don't have a tree or a Hanukkah bush.
16.) We're forced to listen to Christmas music everywhere we go and no we don't mind it, but we do get sick of it, just like any other song that were to get played 87 times on the radio in a two hour time span.
