All throughout the summer before college, I slaved over decorating the perfect dorm room. I searched through countless Pinterest posts until I found the perfect color combination (navy and gold) and prowled website after website until I found the right bedding. Then I got the décor, gold rimmed mason jars, a monogramed wall hanging, posters and frames and most importantly, pictures that reminded me of home. Why did I find it so important to make my dorm so perfect? Well other than the desire and opportunity to decorate a blank canvas, I wanted my dorm to feel like home. I wanted to be able to sit in my on my dorm bed and feel just as comfortable as if I were sitting on my bed at home. And to do that, I had to surround myself with the types of things I had at home and the memories that reminded me of the place. A part of me truly believed that my dorm could feel no different than home if I decorated it just right.

For some, leaving for college is a relief. It means getting away from your boring home town and getting out into the world. I was just as excited to go to college as everyone else but for me, leaving home was not going to be easy. Maybe it was the nostalgia kicking in, but as the time grew closer to leave I began to realize how much I loved my home town. I loved the apple orchards that spread across the rolling hills in the south of the town. I loved the hollow where people jumped off rocks and swam in the summer heat. I loved the sunsets at the view that was well worth the hike. I loved the center of town with old, colorful buildings that showed the town's age and the stop light by my house that always lasted fourteen seconds. I loved my high school in the morning when the fog surrounded the campus, making it look majestic and the gas station that everyone hung out at once school got out. I loved my friends, my neighborhood and most of all, my home.

But it didn’t matter how much I would miss my town, I knew that I had to leave and I would love college too. It’s never easy to let go of something you love, so I decided to make my dorm just as comfortable as my home. Hence the obsession with decorating.

But here I am, a week into college and I’ve learned something. As I stand in my dorm room and look around it feels like another person's life. It feels like I’m in a low quality hotel room that I’ll leave in a few days to return home. When I lay down in my bed it takes time to fall asleep because there isn’t the same buzzing of the radiator like there is at home. It’s different here and no number of pictures on my wall makes it feel like the home I left behind. I’ve learned that home isn’t something I can just pack up and put into a dorm room. Home is not a decoration. Home is my mom and my dad and my sisters and my dog who make up the house I grew up in. I’m comfortable in that town because they’re nearby and because my friends are just minutes away.

So here I am, in a new place with new people. It’s not home; that I’ve accepted. But it doesn’t mean it won’t be. I’ve learned that I can’t rush it and I can’t force something to feel like home, but I do believe that in time my school will feel like home. In time I’ll be surrounded by people who know me just as well as the people in my hometown do. In time I won’t want to leave here in the summer because I know I’ll miss everyone. But possibly the best thing I’ve learned is that in time, this place won’t feel like the home I left behind, it’ll be a new home and I’ll be lucky enough to have two places I can call home.