What does it mean to be alone?
When my parents separated during my sophomore year of high school, I went through an angsty, I don't believe in love anymore, phase. That phase came to a screeching halt when I unexpectedly met a guy who changed the game. No matter how I tried not to lean on him too much, I fell in love with him and soon he became my world. His happiness was my happiness and when I could not make him happy it felt as if I had failed. I searched endlessly for ways I could brighten his day or just make him smile. After a year-and-a-half relationship, we called it quits. Though it was never easy, as breakups never are, there came a point in time where it was less about getting over him and more about being alone.
Being alone is scary.
Especially when your world was once consummated by a person's existence. It can be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But it all comes down to one question: who am I?
Who am I when I'm not his? What are my favorite things to do? What makes me feel good about myself? What is my purpose? What are my goals? Where would I like to see myself in a year?
Being alone is essentially starting from the ground up. It is not easy. It's very difficult to get used to. But, honestly, being alone is one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. Because after the initial shock, the heartache and regret, you get strong. You get tough. You get to know yourself, and knowing myself is quite arguably one of the most important things I have done in my life thus far.
You learn what you care about. The things you never knew you cared about. You learn what is important to you and what you will fight for. You will learn what you are worth and you will find that it is a hell of a lot more than you knew. And once you understand your worth, you will never settle for less ever again.
You will create time and space for yourself--time and space that is nobody's but yours. You will enjoy the silence that you surround yourself with and collect your thoughts and be certain of your decisions. You will understand why you acted in ways you could not understand before. You will feel comfortable in your own skin, maybe even for the first time in your life. You will be able to communicate with others better because you are confident. You know what you believe in and no one can take that from you.
Being alone can be hard. It can be scary and confusing. But to me, being alone means strength. It means courage. It takes all the courage in the world to stand by yourself and say, "Hey, world, this is who I am. Take it or leave it, but this is me." Don't let the fear of rejection trick you into hiding your true self away from the world because at the end of the day, people are more likely to admire your courage and the strength you presented them with even when they don't agree with you, and that is the most beautiful part of being alone.
