As my first summer as a college student is coming to a close, I spent some time reflecting what home meant to me and how I’ve changed over the course of this year. The funny thing about college is that so much happens and changes over such a small amount time. Without taking a moment to look back, we often continue to focus on the present and the future, forgetting how important our past actually is to that present and future.
The fact that I'm writing about the importance of our past, specifically high school in this context, is actually a little funny. Just a few weeks ago, I was ranting to a good friend from high school about how much I didn't miss our high school and how glad I was to have left when I did. Attending a small, private, college prep school for eight years, I had felt pressured to become a star student. We were given, sometimes had forced upon us, opportunities to be part of activities out of our comfort zones. We were expected to achieve great things and become leaders. Everyone on campus, from our teachers to our peers, expected us to be skilled at everything we laid our hands on. Class sizes were small and our grade had no choice but to bond with each other. After experiencing the absolute freedom that was college and interacting with new peers that seemed to breeze through high school, my eight years of working hard to achieve ridiculously high goals seemed almost worthless to me.
I recently visited my high school with an old friend, just to reconnect at a place we both used to call home. School wasn’t in session, but part of me wanted to reconnect with my roots. As soon as I drove in to the familiar parking lot, I felt a rush of fuzzy emotions. I realized that I had missed my campus. I missed the tall trees that surrounded the buildings and the symbolic flagpole that marked the center of campus. I missed how safe the campus made me feel. I even missed the mischievous squirrels that raided our belongings and trashcans. Part of me started missing how my life used to be.
Perhaps I am an anomaly for missing my high school so much and for missing that part of my life. At first, as I suddenly realized how much I missed my school, I thought I was missing it because I had attended the same small school for eight years, and I missed the habitual routine that took up most of my childhood. Maybe I just missed how familiar I was with everything and how easy it was to maneuver through school. Thrown into a completely new environment that was college, maybe I missed knowing everyone at my school.
But as I sat on the benches that surrounded the familiar flagpole and took a moment to truly take in my old home, I realized that the reason I missed my school was because my school shaped who I am today. Not only did it train me to handle rigorous academic work, but my small, stressful college prep school made me aspire to become a high-achieving hard worker, a leader, and a well-rounded human being. Coming back to the very environment that watched me grow and mature, it hit me how important my school was to my past, present, and future self. My school shaped how I thought, felt, behaved, and spoke. My teachers guided me through those confusing teen years and provided support. My friends I made at my school still keep me grounded, and continue to help me become a better person. Without the experiences my school offered me, I wouldn’t be the Erika that I am this very moment. The eight years of hard work wasn't a waste at all—it helped me thrive in the college environment, and I'm confident that the values I've learned from my school will continue to help me thrive in the upcoming real world. And by embracing my past and acknowledging how much my school means to me, I’ve been able to appreciate everything and everyone that has been a part of my life on a greater scale—and that helps me maintain a pretty positive lifestyle. It’s as if I’ve found my happy place.
The present and the future are so important; I truly believe that choosing to live in the moment is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself, and that what you do in the present directly connects to the brightness of your future. But take a little time to sit back and appreciate your past. And just so you know, the college prep school title may seem elitist and something fitting to the Blair Waldorfs of the world—but hey, at least it prepared me to become a thriving college student.
