It could be assumed finding "Mr. Right"in today's world is so much easier than it used to be. Never before in human history have we been so interconnected like we are today. Long gone are the days where men and women had to wait weeks or months for letters to be delivered by horse and carriage. Instead we can now share information instantly with people all over the globe. This has clearly made it easier to communicate, yet even with all of this, it seems the happy ending everyone searches for can be more complicated than ever to find.
Many of my girlfriends seem to share this same frustration: why is dating so hard? Dating is not exactly rocket science, right? Usually, you meet someone you like (either online or in person), one of you asks the other out, and you have a date. After going on the date, you then determine whether it is worth investing more time into. Simple, right? Nope, not so fast. Well then, what gives?
The Unrealistic Ideal of Perfect Love
People automatically expect an intense spark from the very beginning. If it's not there, we usually move on quickly. There seems to be a sort of laziness when it comes to getting to know someone as a potential partner nowadays because we are so used to convenience. Because of our accessibility to media, in many situations, instant gratification has taken priority over long-term fulfillment.
Too Many Choices, Not Enough Connection
"I think with online dating there a lot more misses than hits," said Emily Seed, a 26-year-old single woman who has used multiple dating apps. "And it's just awkward overall because you've only spoken maybe through text or the dating site, then you have to meet in person and you've never even seen them before."
Dating is Not Dating Anymore
It doesn't even seem like dating is really "dating" anymore. There is a huge gray area where the meaning of the word now seems to live. Even if you are going on a date, you probably wouldn't even know it was a date because it would most likely just be considered "hanging out" or "chilling."
It seems people are more terrified of the idea of real human connection than they ever have been. Vulnerability and honesty are not being properly cultivated in our technology-driven society because people expect to gain something at little to no cost to them. If things even appear to be going in a serious direction, they want an easy way out. Talk of commitment is out of the question, unless you want to get ghosted.
So where does this leave those of us who are not interested in playing games?
Maybe it's time we go back to the days before social media was a thing. We should start prioritizing real, human connection with other people and stop allowing experiences from the past to hold us back from new possibilities. Let go of expectations. Forget perfection. Just be.
