"What Do You Do On Mother's Day?"

"What Do You Do On Mother's Day?"

I absolutely, with every fiber of my being, do not want to be alone.

Meghan DeLuca

Recently I had a friend look at me and very innocently ask, “What do you do on Mother’s Day?”

Knowing that they absolutely meant it in the least hurtful, offensive, and most genuine way; I took a deep breath and I said “I go to the cemetery.”

Trying to keep the conversation short, sweet, and unemotional, I elaborated a little further to say that I’d probably pick up some flowers, and my siblings, so that I didn’t make the trip alone. But the further I thought into it, I really wondered…what should I be doing on Mother’s Day?

My immediate thought is that in the worst way, I want to be completely and totally alone. Not only because I know that I personally get very bitter, but also because for weeks leading up to this day there have been multitudes of advertisements about pampering the most important woman in your life…so every post, picture, flower, card, and song feels like the entire world is collapsing on top of my chest. The immense weight of Mother’s Day on someone whose mother is no longer in their life is a pain that I can only pray someone doesn’t have to experience. Sometimes daily life is too much to handle, never mind an entire day that is dedicated to spending it pampering and worshiping the ground that she walks on. Hell, I’ve been on a “Say Yes to the Dress” kick lately that has the power to break me down to a whimpering, blubbering, sobbing mess at any given point in time.

My next thought is that I absolutely, with every fiber of my being, do not want to be alone. On one hand I just want to be held, I want to cry, I want to ask why, and spend a decent amount of time loathing the fact that this life was chosen for me. On the other, I want to be distracted - I want to celebrate the mothers in my life that I know are the very reason for the existence of the people I love. I want to celebrate the women they are, the people they made, and their unwavering devotion to not only their families…but also to me.

You see, I’m a firm believer that when someone’s mother dies there is a very defined “before” and there is a completely different “after.” How you choose to deal with the “after,” is a task all your own. In the “before” I loved Mother’s Day; I loved going out and getting all of my favorite, strong, independent, mommas flowers, I loved seeing their faces light up, I loved being able to cook for my mom, paint her nails, and make her feel great about herself. I loved seeing my best friend’s mom and my god-mother gleam when I brought over their bouquets of flowers. In the “after” the sheer thought of walking into a florist, a grocery store, or even a Walmart over the next couple weeks makes me a little queasy. This year we approach the third Mother’s Day without my mother, and it will be the first one that I’ll be trying to half-participate in. Not because I feel like I’m obligated to after hiding from it, but because I want to. I want to be able to let these ladies know that their hard work is recognized not only on this day, but every day.

So, to anyone who wonders “What do you do on Mother’s Day?” - My answer is: Cemetery, and anything after that depends on how confident I’m feeling in my mental and emotional stability. But yes, I will still probably post a photo collage that will make you feel slightly uncomfortable.

If you’re lucky enough to be able to communicate with your mother whenever you want, remember to let them know you appreciate them this day, and every day.

Lastly, to anyone reading this who is in the “after,” Happy Mother’s Day to you, and to your momma. I know that you miss her just as much as I miss mine, too.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Everyone remembers the first time they went to one of the Disney parks. Spinning in teacups and having Goofy wrap his arms around my 8-year-old self were some of my fondest childhood memories, and I'm surely not alone in that.

Keep Reading... Show less

These Superfood Beauty Products Show Kale And Matcha Work For SO Much More Than We Thought

Just another summer's day with a cold glass of kombucha on my face.

I've been vegan for about six years now, so a love for fresh vegetables and superfoods has now become a core part of my being. Don't get me wrong. I love my indulgent, creamy pastas and truffle fries more than anyone. But I keep most of my focus on eating clean and healthy so I can indulge guilt-free.

But I'd say about a large part of my diet has always, unknowingly, included superfoods. Being Indian, lentils, beetroot, garlic, ginger, and whole grains have been core essentials on the family dinner table since I could digest solid foods.

Keep Reading... Show less

Now that college is around the corner for most if not all young adults, students once shook by a pandemic now have to shift their focus on achieving their career goals. As if we thought we had it together already! As an NYC girl, I have always seen myself as a hustler, hungry to advance my career in journalism by having one skill: working hard.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 BBQ Essentials Every Vegan Should Bring To Avoid Summer Cookout FOMO

You'll have your whole family drooling when you bring these goodies over too.

All vegetarians and vegans can relate when I say this: summer barbecues aren't fun when there's nothing you can eat.

Keep Reading... Show less

Kourtney Kardashian has decided to leave "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" after nearly 14 years and although we saw this coming, it breaks our heart that she won't be there to make us laugh with her infamous attitude and hilarious one-liners.

Kourtney is leaving the show because it was taking up too much of her life and it was a "toxic environment" for her.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

We Asked You How You Felt About Resuming 'Normal' Activities, And Some Of Your Answers Shocked Us

The New York Times asked 511 epidemiologists when they'd feel comfortable doing "normal" activities again, considering COVID-19. We asked our peers the same thing, for science.

Last month, the New York Times surveyed about 500 epidemiologists asking about their comfort level with certain activities once deemed normal — socializing with friends, going to the doctor, bringing in the mail. That's all well and good for the experts, but they are a very niche group, not the majority of the population. What do "normal" people feel safe doing? In certain states, we've seen how comfortable everyone is with everything (looking at you, Florida), but we wanted to know where Odyssey's readers fell on the comfort scale. Are they sticking with the epidemiologists who won't be attending a wedding for another year, or are they storming the sunny beaches as soon as possible?

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments