Dear Dance,
What am I supposed to do with my life now that I'm done with you forever?
By the time I'm done writing this, our time together will just be distant memories.
In the past, when I've told people I don't dance as much as I used to or when I tell them I switched majors, they sort of look confused, as though they don't know why I'd give up what I love. If I could, I would dance forever, though it'd be in a more laid back setting that doesn't revolve around performing. I've been thinking about what I'll do to stay healthy after I've graduated, and I've considered taking yoga or Pilates, but somehow I don't think they'll suffice--not the same way you do. I've never taken a real yoga or Pilates class, so I can't accurately state how similar or different those classes can be from dancing, but I don't think they're as artistic as you. It'll probably make me sweat and get a good workout, like dance does, but it won't make me feel as pretty or ethereal as I do when I move my body in an artistic way. I won't get to do across-the-floor combinations, scrape up my skin, or tear my ACL again due to you. I won't get frustrated about the fact that my body doesn't seem to be able to differentiate between sharp and soft movements or the fact that I'll have to eat a smaller meal before performing. I can rejoice in the small things, like not being completely exhausted and worn out after I dance, but I won't feel that rush of satisfaction knowing I've done something good for my body that day, and I won't have a sense of gratification knowing I got to do something I loved. I'll be even more stressed because my body isn't doing what it longs to do. It wants to move and wear itself out. It wants to get scraped up on the sprung floor and pick up unsanitary germs from the barre. It longs to feel that perspiration trickle down my back. It isn't pretty, but it's the life I've grown up with, and I don't possibly know how I'll give you up, or how anything else will suffice. Because it won't. I know it won't. No matter how hard I try to replace you, it'll be impossible. Perhaps this isn't goodbye like I thought, but rather a temporary hiatus. I don't know how long it'll last, but I know I probably won't pick you back up again until after I've graduated. For now, I want to say thank you for letting me have all these memorable experiences with you. There's no one else I'd rather struggle and grow with than with you. Know you will always have a special place in my heart.
Love,
An Eternally Committed Dancer
