Divorce is a word that is capable of penetrating unhealed wounds or giving the power to set you free.
Growing up, I always had friends of divorced parents who would go back and forth to stay with either their mom or dad each weekend. With little thought, I was always relieved that I never had to worry about such a thing. Divorce only had a negative connotation to me and since I had never experienced it firsthand, I couldn't relate. If there was anything I understood about it I just knew I didn't want it ever becoming a reality.
I never spent much time thinking about divorce personally because it was something that I never could imagine happening to me. After all, how could it when I had two loving parents who couldn't keep their hands off each other, let alone quit spoiling me? If anything, there were some days where I had thought my parents wanted to get rid of and part ways with me. Even after all the heartache and pain my actions caused growing up my parents were a team; my parents were as one against the world. If they ever got a divorce it could only be in my dreams. However, sometimes all that glitters is not gold; what you see is not always ultimately what you receive.
Due to irreconcilable differences, my parents eventually told me that they were divorcing. It was by far one of the worst days ever. I was so devastated I didn't even want to stomach the pain. Sure I wasn't a little kid going through this but I still accumulated feelings of frustration and hurt. As a result, I broke off good relationships, disconnected with everything that I was passionate about and I put my academic studies on the back burner. I had automatically hit an all time low without realizing it. I was channeling my negative energies all the wrong ways.
While my emotions were in turmoil I had a lot of people there loving and supporting me. After almost a year of depression, I healed immensely. I taught myself the art of forgiveness and I slowly began to trust again. I had realized that even my parents are not always these super humans. In fact, they are flawed just like me and they go through their own battles. This divorce didn't make us any less of a family it just now meant that instead of one now I have two homes to go to. I had to realize that just because my parents are now divorced it doesn't necessarily mean that they hate each other. Instead, they had to let go in order for them both to find their own personal happiness.
It's scary to think, "what if divorce is something that happens to me." It's hard to have a vision of two people so in love only to see it never work out in the end. But what I've learned is what is meant to be, will be. Love, take care of yourself and nurture your own relationships. I had to learn how not to seclude myself because I will waste relationships that way.
Always practice love and never be afraid when things do not work out. Allow life to take its course and live and learn each and every day.
