Cancer has always been a far off idea for me, as I’m sure it is for millions of people. I know of it, I know what types there are, I know the stages, and I thought I knew that it would never touch anyone I loved. I was wrong. The man who has been a coach and a mentor to me had been diagnosed with brain cancer, and the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions.
A man so generous, so kind, and so warmhearted, had been diagnosed with such a terrible disease. And all I could do was ask “why?”. I know God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, and I know that this man was so mentally and physically strong that he could kick cancer’s ass with his eyes closed. But what about all the things I didn’t know about cancer? Just a month ago I thought I knew enough about cancer, but I didn’t realize that I knew nothing about the process of treatment or how to deal with it.
I didn’t know about the feeling in the pit of your stomach that you will get when you hear that a loved one has been diagnosed. I didn’t know how to comfort the person who had been diagnosed either. I didn’t know how to cope with the excruciatingly long wait to hear how surgery went. Unfortunately, there’s no book entitled “What To Expect When Someone You Know Has Cancer”, you go through the process alongside your loved one, hoping to be supportive and comforting in their time of need.
Along with the negative things that I never knew about cancer, there have been many positive things that I didn’t know as well. I didn’t know about the strength that comes out of the diagnosis. I didn’t know about the warm, long drawn out hugs after seeing someone after surgery. I didn’t know about the hundreds of messages of support and encouragement. I didn’t know how resilient one person could be in the face of extreme adversity. I didn’t know that although cancer can be strong, love and positivity would always be stronger.
When it comes to cancer, and devastating events in general, I’ve learned that being stronger is better. Not just in a physical sense, but in a mental sense as well. Not only does the person who has been diagnosed need to be strong mentally, but the people surrounding them need to be strong enough to put their own feelings aside to focus on supporting their loved ones. The disease itself is horrible, without a doubt. But the amount of love and strength that can come out of it, is beautiful.
