What do I actually mean to you? Am I something that you are actually afraid to lose, or am I something that you are just using for your image? Do you actually care about me or any of the feelings I have, or are my feelings nothing to you?
Guys in the 21st century don't know how to properly treat a lady, but women are not standing up for what they deserve anymore either. Women think that the boys will change, and in some cases they will, but as many say, once a "fuckboy" always a "fuckboy." Why do guys think that it is okay to talk to a girl and then out of nowhere leave them? Being a female, this is something that I have not only been through personally but I also had to watch my friends go through the same thing.
As stated in the Justin Timberlake song, "I can't drink you away," I have no idea how you became such a big part of my life so fast or how I let you in so fast; but what I'm mostly upset about is the fact that I don't even know what I actually mean to you. Am I something that you actually can't live without, someone that you think about everyday, or am I someone that you just used? I want to believe that what we had was real and that one day everything will go back to the way it was but, I am also realistic. You might have felt that way at one time but you will never feel that way again.
Regardless of, if you were sincere with your feelings the entire relationship, you broke a part of me. You made it harder for me to open up, made it harder for me to trust new people. I would like to say that I don't care about what you think, but you know that I will always care about you and I hope that you still care about me. Being a woman in the 21st century I should have known better, mommy couldn't protect my heart form breaking or help me get over the pain that I was experiencing when you left. She also couldn't have prepared me for what would happen the day that you called me telling you that you missed me, I want nothing more than to be with you and I hope that one day you will realize what I would actually do for you.
I know that being a single woman these days can be depressing and can be very difficult, but remember that your prince charming is out there! Don't give up hope, you will find someone that actually cares about you, someone that you never have to question if they care about you or if they don't. You will find him one day.
"All this delusion in our heads, Is gonna bring us to our knees, So come on let it go" - James Bay, Let It Go.
