I often find myself clicking on articles that my friends have shared on Facebook. Most of the time, I skim quickly to see if I catch anything interesting and then close the tab to get back to scrolling down my newsfeed. Last week while killing time before work, I saw that many of my friends were sharing comedian Aziz Ansari’s article titled, "Everything You Thought You Knew About L-O-V-E is Wrong." To be honest, I thought this article would leave me laughing, but this article didn’t leave me laughing at all. In fact, all I can do is think.
Ansari begins his article by explaining his own struggles with being “perpetually indecisive.” If you know me, you know that this could quite possibly be the best way to describe me since I can barely figure out what to wear, let alone what to eat for dinner each day like Ansari.
If you think about it, most of us are indecisive about a lot of things in life out of fear that if we choose the wrong thing, it could lead us down the wrong path. He states that young adults invest so much time looking into where to find the best restaurants, houses, shops, etc. He then asks if we are we doing the same in our relationships. Are we so scared of choosing the wrong person that we find ourselves jumping from person to person in fear of actually being happy and content with one individual?
This struck me. Could my indecisive nature be the one thing standing in the way of a good relationship? Possibly. I mean, it’s so easy to pick people and situations apart until you find yourself overthinking everything and uninterested in them all together. But it’s not just you or me; it’s all of us. As young 20-somethings, the path to figuring ourselves out is confusing and difficult. With so any options and our generation’s indecisive nature, it’s no wonder why we praise those who casually date and hookup with people and get nervous when we see that someone our age is engaged. Shouldn’t we be happy for those couples? They’re obviously happy, so why fear others’ happiness even if it’s different from our own?
I think the idea that our 20s are a time for hooking up and finding yourself comes from this idea that relationships are restrictive and bad, when in fact, they can be exactly the opposite. We need those real, close relationships and friendships in order to find ourselves. Forming a close bond with someone teaches you more about yourself and the individual than you ever would from a random hook up.
We’re indecisive because we’re scared of the possibility of being content with one person without testing the waters with a number of people before them. Sometimes it’s hard to feel, to love, to fear, but it isn’t hard to be happy, whether that be alone or with another person. From one indecisive person to another, it’s okay to commit as long as you’re happy. Aziz Ansari can do it, and so can you. Oh, and if you still don’t know what to have for dinner tonight, Chipotle is always a good idea.
