College hasn't just taught me about the subjects I take classes on and how to begin navigating “the real world.” Going to college has made me grow in more ways than I expected. I knew before heading off to college that I would learn about myself and grow up a bit, but I did not know I would learn so much about my family relationships. Surprisingly, college (and going back and forth between college and home) taught me quite a bit about being an older sibling.

I am my siblings' primary example of a college student.

I am the oldest of four kids, so I am the first to go to college and start planning my life. I did not have an older sibling to watch go through college, so I am figuring many things out on my own. My parents went to college so they have guided me through some of the process, but things have definitely changed in the American college system in the last 30 years. Since I am figuring everything out now, I can help my siblings with when they are preparing for and attending college. I try to be a good example of a college student to my younger siblings by aiming to get good grades, not talking about partying and I try to be honest but positive about my college experiences. They will make their own decisions and have different experiences in the future, but I want to give a good example of what a college student is and what a college student does.

I have the potential to affect my siblings' future decisions.

If all you do when you go home is complain, then you could be steering your siblings away from a college, area of study or the idea of attending college in general. None of my siblings have much of an interest in pursuing my major, music therapy, and I don’t believe that has anything to do with my comments on the workload. I've realized that I do need to watch my complaining when it comes to studying music. In general, I love being a music major, but it is a lot of work. One of my siblings plays the cello, and though she’s not planning on being a music major when she goes to college, I don't want to cause her to dislike the idea of studying music. Being involved in music in college is rewarding, a great way to make friends, a source of motivation to continue to grow your skills and could even get you a scholarship. College has made me realize that I may have more of an effect on my siblings’ future decisions than I originally thought.

I want my siblings to know the importance of taking care of themselves.

I try to make a point that grades aren’t as important in college as they are in high school. I was very particular about my grades in high school and graduated with a good GPA. After several years in college however, I care less about my grades. Having straight A's is a wonderful goal, but I know that my health is more important than my GPA. I want to get good grades and I always try to do so, but sometimes I need to sleep, shower and care for myself. So what if I get a B instead of an A on a paper? I didn’t think like that in high school. I want my younger siblings to know the importance of taking care of themselves, even when they may get a lower grade then they originally planned.

I want my siblings to follow their dreams.

Meeting so many different people in college has taught me what success is: happiness. You don’t have to pick the perfect major before you begin college. If you end up doing that, great, but it doesn't necessarily guarantee a happily ever after. I don’t think I know anyone that have had this kind of experience. Even my favorite professors and other people I look up to who inspire me to try harder and follow my dreams had hard times in college and career changes after they graduated. It is important that my younger siblings know that it is okay to change your mind, as well as to have more than one dream. I have spent almost six years dead set on being a music therapist and ignoring my other dreams. Now as a senior in college, I am juggling other plans while working on my degree. And that’s okay. Of course I don’t know how this is all going to work out, but I want to be an example to my siblings and show them that there is no cookie-cutter way to go to college, be successful or follow your dreams.

Overall, I just want my younger siblings to be happy. I knew that before college, but the experience of going away to college has made me more aware of why and how I have an impact on them. It has reminded me of the importance of my relationship with them, and has made me more thankful than I ever was that I have siblings. College hasn't just provided me with classes, friends and experiences. It's given me the opportunity to think deeply about some of the most important relationships in my life: the ones I have with my siblings.