There's no doubt that college teaches us many skills that can be applied throughout life. At a university however, you cannot learn simple tricks to get out of inevitable ruts. Let's dive into the lengthy list of what college can't teach us.
1. How to change a tire. I don't know about you guys but when I'm stuck on the side of the road, all I'll be doing is calling people to help me. And that's IF my phone hasn't died due to my excessive liking of every Instagram post on my news feed during class. Yes, this is the sad truth: X+Y/ Z-7= my tire is still flat.
2. Maintaining a healthy balance. While away at college, there is an attempt to maintain a sleep schedule of at least five hours, praying for at least a one hour break for down time, and wishing you could just bang your head against the keyboard because you once again had no time to start that six page research paper that you had a month to complete. Healthy + social + academic life = Yeah right, those things don't mesh together.
3. How to cook. I'm sure there's a food science class or healthy cooking elective offered at some schools, but in my 4 years at college I have yet to really learn how to cook. I know how to burn brownies in an attempt to help with bake sales and I know that you should only use half a packet of the seasoning in Ramen Noodles because the amount of sodium is horrible!
4. HOW TO SAVE. Some students might be saying "na ah, I learned to save money for parties by not ordering those two text books" or "this is totally true, college forces me to spend all my money on coffee so I don't fall asleep in class". How am I supposed to budget for the real world if all I've ever been exposed to is rush grocery shopping in between classes and forking the money over to a decent meal at the nearest pizza restaurant because I don't have enough time to make anything while there's only two hours left until my online quiz is due at 11:59pm.
5. Music. I'm not talking about house music and strobe lights. I'm talking about how to play it. Unless you're a music major, put that guitar down because you don't have the time to learn new things like that. Once you turned 18 and graduated high school, you lost that privilege and sold the next 4 years of your life to library hours and scantrons. And no, you can't learn it after you graduate from college because that costs money and you have to pay off all of those student loans.
6. How to read a financial statement. What the heck is a balance statement? I could tell you my views about Charles Darwin's book, "The Origin of Species." But I couldn't even begin to tell you how to start investing in stock either because I'm still trying to dig for money in between couch cushions.
7. Experience matters the most. Who would have thought? Like, you mean, I actually have to had done something while I was at school besides cramming biology and psychology definitions into my head? At least I know that I can write "efficient time cruncher" and "master of getting ready for class in 5 minutes while being angry at myself because I registered for a 7am" on my resume.
8. Don't procrastinate. Even though the teachers laugh when they ask how many people finished their paper the morning of, it's actually not going to do you as well in the real world. That skill of procrastination is at its finest during those college years but could possibly damage your ability to keep a job afterwards.
9. Appearance actually matters. They don't tell you when you stumble into class that the lip ring, sweatpants and messy bun look won't land you a job. Those professors are just there to talk whether they actually teach you anything or not.
10. It's actually alright to fail. At school you'll fail a class and your GPA will drop about .6. Fail in life and you'll learn something a little more meaningful than the fact that you need to start reviewing that material an extra day in advance.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in education and achieving a degree. There are many positive outcomes that come with going to college, but there are many things it can't teach us about getting ready for a real job and to experience a world beyond the academic quad.
