Being a musician, whether you're a professional or an amateur, can be mentally taxing. Going to rehearsals can get monotonous when your director has you play the same passages over and over again, and practicing on your own can get frustrating when you just can't seem to get that rhythm down or manage to hit that note quite right. At some point, you're going to complain about your obligations to your instrument and your ensembles because you're tired, or because you have to miss out on a social gathering, or simply because you just think that you're terrible and want to quit. As musicians, we all have those days, but still we keep coming back and playing or singing regardless of the rough patches.
For me, I simply can't imagine a life without music, a life without rehearsals and the chance to improve my craft. There have been so many times when I considered quitting band or choir because I doubted my abilities for one reason or another, most often because I felt that I couldn't measure up to those around me. More often than not, I was doing just fine and only needed a bit of technical help and rehearsal to clean up my playing. I've been to rehearsals where the sound of a piece would instantly become better with a few words of advice or a few repeats of a tricky bar, and those moments of realization and creating something beautiful are what I live for.
No one is perfect at anything, especially not on the first run, and one of the best parts about playing music is getting to be a part of a miraculous transformation, from the first messy run of a new piece to a final, powerful performance of that piece. I've worked on so many pieces in various ensembles that I thought would never come together in time for the concert, but that ended up giving me chills when we finally performed them for an audience.
Everything takes hard work, and everything takes time, and one of the best parts of being a musician is getting to translate a bunch of circles and lines into something that you and your audience can feel deep in your souls, it's the opportunity to create a work of art, measure by measure. Being a musician has given me such a sense of pride and accomplishment in my work, and in my life. Sure, there are still days when I need a break from my instrument and days when I'd rather take a nap than go to rehearsal, but at the end of the day, nothing makes me happier than playing an instrument or singing.
Being a musician isn't about being perfect all the time, it's about constantly learning and pushing yourself to improve. It's about taking pride in the ability to create something bigger than yourself, something that has the power to connect you with your fellow musicians. That's what being a musician means to me, and why playing music will always be a part of my life.
