The term gets thrown around a lot, making us think back to the 1950’s style of living. Is she great at cooking? She’s wifey material. Does she know how to properly make a bed? She’s wifey material. But times have changed, and being “wifey material” has morphed to keep up with the times, especially with marriage being statistically harder to maintain these days. Now, being wifey material has some new meanings.
1. You think of your future before your future with him.
This is a big one, especially with student debt looming over most of us and life being generally complex and unpredictable. Before you start going to town on your wedding Pinterest board, you need to make your own plan. If you can set and reach a goal in your education, career, finances, et cetera, chances are you’re more prepared to commit to someone else’s goals, too. Plus, you’ll be happier.
2. You understand sacrifice.
This one can range from small, daily sacrifices, to large, life-changing sacrifices. Would you be willing to move across the country, away from your family, if it meant letting him make a big step in his career? Or could you skip out on a few drinks with the girls if he truly needed you at the end of a long day? It’s nice to have things go our way and it’s enjoyable to get what we want, but we can’t expect this all the time. Sacrifice is an inevitable part of relationships these days.
3. You get along with who means most to him.
Horrifying stories about in-law relationships with daughter or son-in-laws can be humorous sometimes, but no one wants their significant other to hate their family or friends, and vice versa. Without their relationship growing like yours is, there’s a tension that is less than desirable. They don’t need to be BFF’s, but they do need to keep the peace at that holiday party when the alcohol is flowing.
4. You’re faithful.
This might seem obvious, but you hear about infidelity all the time, whether it’s in a relationship between those who are married or just dating. Being faithful doesn’t solely mean that you won’t sleep with another person; it mean’s that you’re emotionally faithful, as well. At the very least, it’s important to be honest if another person comes into the picture so that you cause the least amount of damage as possible.
5. You show him that you love him, not just tell him.
Showing your feelings is so underrated — everyone enjoys getting a small gift every now or then or having someone go out of their way to show they care. The more random the moment, the better, because it displays how love is 24/7, not just on his birthday, your anniversary, or Valentine’s Day. Express yourself through actions on top of words, and you’ll strengthen the relationship.
I’m sure that there are many more possible additions to this list, but the fact still stands: being “wifey material” is not as domestic as it used to be. Sure, it’s still a plus if she can cook without burning the food, wants to have kids, and can keep the dust bunnies out, but it’s so much more than just that these days. Being "wifey material" means that you can agree on that common lifestyle (whatever you may define that as), and be successful at it. Let me know what you think about being "wifey material" by emailing me at hlavendi@purdue.edu.
