What Actually Happens At the End Of the Semester
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What Actually Happens At the End Of the Semester

A humor column on everyone's favorite time of the year.

What Actually Happens At the End Of the Semester
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One week. That’s all you have left until the dreaded finals week. The level of procrastination you have couldn’t get any worse than it is now. Your laundry is piling up because you are a) lazy and b) it costs $3 to wash and dry a load of clothes. That $3 can go toward something more useful, like Taco Bell.

You will be drowning in debt. Not only because of the cost of tuition but because of the stupidly high cost of books. Think about how much Taco Bell you could buy with $500. Now that you’re thinking about hundreds of beef Quesaritos that you could have at your fingertips, forget it. At this rate, you might only be able to afford a Quesarito when grandma sends you a crisp $20 in the mail. Okay, you’ll probably end up buying more than one with that kind of money. With that kind of money, you can feast like a king at Sheetz as well.

Remember the procrastination level I was talking about earlier? You have to study for five exams, write three papers, do a semester project, pack for the upcoming five weeks you will have at home and find your sanity all it one week. Since it is the week before finals, you could be a good student and start at least something now.

At this point, you don’t even care about your laundry. Mom will do it once you get home. I’ll just wear the same two sweatshirts all week, you think to yourself. The dishes are piled up a little too much for your liking, so naturally, you wash them. You sigh to yourself. It’s always you that ends up having to wash the dishes out of your roommates. It’s 8:01 p.m. after all, you told yourself you would start all of your assignments at 8:00 but you’re a minute late. At 9:00 p.m. you’ll start your homework. The cycle repeats until midnight.

You finally sit down to do the dreaded tasks and naturally the wifi isn’t working. Eh, you think to yourself. I can do it tomorrow. You triumphantly close your laptop and attempt to fall asleep in your Twin XL. Too bad you can hear your neighbor snoring. Annoyed, you roll over and a thought hits you. Your dad sent you $20 on Monday. You get up, put on your shoes and go to Taco Bell.

It is now the start of finals week and have you started any of your assignments? Nope. The past week you were looking up Pillow Pets and “How to Survive Finals” articles on Pinterest. Even though you read the tips, you didn’t put them into use. You have also watched 3 seasons of “How I Met Your Mother in the past week, telling yourself that when you finish an episode, you will start an essay. But Barney just proposed to Robin so you can’t do that. One more episode then I will start it. You can guess what actually happened.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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