Let's be honest, I would rather be anywhere but a frat party. But I'm here, and I'm really trying to have a good time, but I shouldn’t have to stick by your side and wonder if you'll be blackout at the end of the night. I wish I was actually drunk but I don’t have too much faith in the alcohol being served out of a bucket.

I also need to make sure I'm aware of what's going on around me because I don't trust anyone enough to do it for me. And I get they're your 'bros' but I just watched one of them grope someone and get hit by the girl he touched and he hit her back…

And quite frankly, I don't even have to be groped to feel as unsafe as that girl just was. "But you used to go out with your friends all the time and it wasn’t a problem." Okay Brad, my friends don't shotgun Four Lokos and slam cans into their heads while chanting, "Saturdays are for the boys" on a Tuesday.

My friends make sure I'm not talking to the guy who looks like he'll pull xans, Adderall, or coke out of his back pocket at any moment, but that's the guy you just introduced me to while you went to go pee on a fence… for the third time tonight.

"They're not even that bad."

Yes, Cameron, they are.

Also, who has unlimited funds for party clothes? Some of these girls look like they dropped $200 on an outfit for a themed party that they'll ruin when they throw up in an hour and now I look like a thumb in comparison because my butt and boobs are covered up. What a confidence boost.

Your arm around me makes me feel like a piece of trash and the superficial scene around me is something I want nothing to do with no matter how hard I try. So now I'm self-conscious, anxious, AND still talking to xans boy. I would have called an Uber already, but I'm poor so I guess I'll continue standing here hating my decision for attempting to be supportive and involved in your lifestyle.

"It's not all partying, I know how to socialize and make connections." Greg, please just stop talking. Just say you like to party, own it, and don't act like there's too much more to that. Partying is great, I just prefer it in a safer, more laid back setting so I'm not going to attack you for saying it.

But seriously man, shut up. I know how to socialize and make connections too, I just don't have to say it out loud for it to be applicable. It's part of being a college student, or just a person, in general. I know I'm not walking around introducing myself to people because I have no interest in knowing them, but I'm pretty good at judgement calls, believe it or not. I know who I need to talk to and your 'frat bros' aren't in that category to advance my future.

It all started with "I only joined to see if I could." Chase, don't lie to me, you would drink a 30 pack a day of Miller Lite while playing Fortnite if you didn't have to go to class and actually do homework to graduate. So maybe that's how it started, but now it's your only social outlet because you didn't make friends anywhere else. I'm also pretty sure your Tinder has at least one picture of you passed out on a couch, holding up a fish, and your bio includes something along the lines of "taller than your ex." So how great are your networking connections, really?

So tell Jack and Phillip how lit the party is one more time before we leave so I can go home and pretend this night didn’t happen for the forth week in a row and we can fight about it again in the morning.