In honor of another semester beginning, I think it would be appropriate to give some advice to incoming freshmen and returning students. As someone who has already survived one year of college, one of the major lessons I've learned is that it's okay to be selfish. Yes, it's okay to be selfish.
"It's not selfish to do what's best for you."—Mark Sutton.
Being selfish can be a good thing.
Usually, that word has a bad rep attached to its name. However, I think the word has a small sliver of virtue that can actually help students succeed. You see, being selfish doesn't necessarily label you as a bad person. It just says that you think about yourself first in certain situations.
The reason why you should make yourself a top priority in college is that at the end of the day, you're the one reaching for that degree. While friends are great to have, remember that they're not taking your classes for you. It's on you to attend lectures, take notes, study for exams, and remember the material.
Sometimes we get distracted by our social life. We feel bad because we bail on plans with friends, or we haven't spoken to them in days. We start to think that we're the bad guys here because we're putting our classes first. I get it, it's hard to push friends aside.
Friends will support your selfish decisions.
However, true friends will understand and support your decision of making yourself the first priority. During midterms and finals week, I close myself off to people and study. I rarely text people back, don't go out as much as I normally do, and personally, I'm the type to study alone. This doesn't mean I'm cutting off my friendships or that I'm angry at my friends. I'm simply putting my semester classes first.
Others might put themselves first, too.
You might notice that your friends do the same to you. When school begins, they don't text you as much or hang out with you. It's not their fault or your fault. They're making themselves a priority and are focused on achieving in their academics. It seems annoying, but try not to get mad at them. Instead, support their success and accomplishments. Text them positive messages before exam week, provide them useful links that might help them study. As long as you show them you care, it shouldn't matter how often you hang out with them.
Be selfish. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for putting your classes and work first. Those kinds of people aren't the ones you want sticking around anyways. True friends will understand your current position and encourage you to achieve your goals. So begin this semester strong by putting yourself on top.
