I love stories, and I especially love stories about people. Hearing about people's lives and moments fascinates me. I recently began listening to the NPR podcast Story Corps. It's a podcast that plays interviews between different people. I'm a nosy person, and this podcast makes you feel like you're being invited to hear about intimate parts of people's lives. People share their deepest secrets, lessons they've learned and moments that at the time seemed terrible, but are now something they can laugh at. This made me think about moments in my life that made me cringe. Moments that I can now look back on without feeling totally mortified. It made me think about all the times I felt so awkward, and there's a lot of them because I'm naturally just an awkward person. Now that I can laugh at these moments and at myself, I thought I'd share my most awkward moments, so that I could make other people laugh and hopefully make somebody's day at my expense.
Microwave Explosion:
My sophomore year of college, I was working in the journalism department as an administrative assistant. Everyday for lunch I would eat the Kraft macaroni and cheese bowls where all you had to do was add water and heat it up in the microwave. I used the microwave in the break room and was told that it heats things very fast and to make sure I heat my food for less time than is recommended. The recommended heat time was three minutes, so I usually just did a minute and a half. One day I was heating up my mac and cheese and forgot about this. I had a lot of work to finish, so I decided to leave the room while my mac and cheese was cooking. After a minute or so I started to see smoke creeping in from down the hall and some of the professors were running around with a panicked look on their faces. I got up and followed the smoke down the hall to see what the commotion was all about. The smoke was seeping out from the break room. I peaked my head in to find the food in the microwave on fire. One of the professors quickly ran into the room grabbed the black charred mac and cheese cup and threw it into the snow outside. The whole office was so smoky that we had to open up the windows to air it out even though it was snowing outside. The fire department showed up and everyone had to be evacuated from the building and into the snow. With some hesitation, I confessed that I was the culprit. It was a mistake and everyone forgave me, but I was so embarrassed. I didn't want to go back to work the next day. I did go back though and everyone seemed okay and joked about the incident, even though I just wished that it would be erased from memory. There was something good that came from this incident though. The journalism department bought a new and nicer microwave. No one had to worry about a broken microwave anymore!
Store Lockdown:
You know the scene in movies where people wait until the store closes and then get locked in on purpose? Well, this has happened to me, but it was not intentional. My mom and I were shopping at a small boutique in the mall. We had just grabbed a ton of different outfits to try on in the changing room. The store was closing soon, but we had no idea. It was a small store, so there was no one to announce over the monitor that they were closing soon like they do in bigger clothing stores like Kohl's. So my mom and I tried on all the different outfits, which took awhile. After we were done, we walked out of the changing room to find an empty store with the lights off. We looked around for someone, anyone, but the place was deserted. In a panic we headed for the door. We grabbed the handle of the door to open it, but it wouldn't budge. We were locked in the store. Now, you're probably wondering how this could happen. Wouldn't they have checked the changing room before they left or at least turned off the lights in there? My mom and I were convinced we were on a hidden camera show. We waited for people to jump out and yell "gotcha," but no one did. We were deciding what to do. Should we call my dad and brother, who were wandering around somewhere in the mall? Should we call 911? After a couple of minutes, the door opened and in came a lady with a confused look on her face. "What are you doing here?" she said. We explained to her what had happened. Thankfully she had forgotten something and had come back to the store to get it. We were finally free. I was so glad I didn't have to call 911, though I'm sure the operator would have gotten a kick out of our story. I don't think people get locked in stores too often.
Forgotten:
This next story follows a theme of being forgotten. It also involves my mom again. Maybe we should stop going places together, because something bad always happens. My mom and I love the sugar cookies at the bakery Kneaders. It was closing soon, but we knew we could make it. We ended up getting there 10 minutes before they closed, which means they still had to serve us. Now I know that's usually rude to do because they're practically about to close, but we really wanted the cookies. We went through the drive-through and ordered the cookies. So far, so good. Then we get to the first window and something doesn't seem right. The guy at the window seems off. He takes our money, laughing and being silly in the process. At first I thought he was just a weird guy. Then we pull up to the next window to wait for our cookies. Ten minutes later we are still waiting. By that time, the bakery is now closed. Five more minutes later and we are still waiting. At this point my mom and I are trying to decide what to do. Then we see some of the workers on the other side of the glass. They were cleaning and dancing to some music. They didn't see us. I was in the driver's seat. My mom wanted me to knock on the window to get their attention. I didn't want to because I felt like that would be really awkward and I try to avoid awkward moments. Finally, I gave in and knocked. One of the employees opens the window and tells us they are closed. We proceed to explain that we ordered 15 minutes ago and never got our food. He asks for a receipt and we realize that the guy had not given us one, so we couldn't prove that we ordered. Normally the order would have also been in their system, especially since we were the last to order, but it wasn't. We paid for those cookies, so we weren't going to leave until we got them. The employee gets the manager and he tells us he'll get us our cookies. He closes the window and we wait again for like 10 minutes. We start to panic and think that he forgot about us as well. He finally comes back to the window and tells us they are out and only have cupcakes left. We accept the cupcakes and drive off. There was never an apology for the wait from any of the employees. I think that they thought we were lying about the whole thing. I also now think that the guy acting weird may have been on drugs and probably didn't put our order in so that he could pocket the cash. Needless to say, it was really awkward and I haven't been to the drive-through since.
Even though these were some embarrassing moments in my life, I've learned some important lessons from them. First, I've learned that you never walk away from a microwave when you're food is cooking. Second, I've learned to never go to a store or restaurant near closing time. Now when I walk into a place, the first thing I do is see when they are closing and make sure I'm out of their way before then. I also avoid drive-throughs as much as possible. Well, these are just a few snippets of my awkward life. I hope you enjoyed.
